Last Smile
by Ravenski
Summary: Deceit, deception, immorality... can love truly blossom in a world of tight ropes and lies? JokerXReader, my very first fanfiction :)
1. Chapter 1

Memories are kept alive by the things you can never forget. This one in particular is unforgettable... even after my tragic death, the soul of my feelings and recollections hold strongly onto the memory of the person I loved. His memory of me is there, too, and hopefully it will never lose its flame. I wander, quite often, through my thoughts... every one of them is settled on the color of his eyes, the richness of his vibrant skin, and the flavor one could only get from his lips. Therefore it is a shame, really, that I can no longer add on to the feelings I got from him in the afterlife. So instead, I reveal to myself the memories of our life together over and over, pushing the scattered pieces of what I somewhat forgot with what was always remembered, making a handful of memories in the form of an intricate puzzle... not really puzzling, but nevertheless questionable. There were things I had wanted to change and things I wanted to keep forever... things that should have been and things that were destined to be taken away. I had memories that made me cry, memories that gave me hope, and memories, ones of the sweetest taste, that filled me with love and compassion for what he desired. It was like a story, perhaps, but with lines that ultimately separated each individual memory from the other. I would take apart a piece once in a while just to feel the essence of what was kept in that recollection. Later on, another piece was taken from the puzzle, and then another, and then another, until finally the not so perfect puzzle was simply a pile of pieces once more. And then I would put them all back together again, adding on new memories and sometimes taking away the ones that were sickening in my eyes. All of them, good and bad, sad and thrilling, tasteless and filling, made a picture of our relationship. And so I, now with a completed work of art, take apart the pieces one by one, to give you a reason why I, dead as can be, remain in this eternal bliss.

The day is April 12, 18_. You are standing by the front window of your house, looking outside. It is raining heavily. You are wearing a pink frilly dress with white underneath. You have white stockings on and grey button up boots. You have a pink pastel ribbon in your curly hair. You look outside with a frown. You stand up straight with your hands at your side. The room you are in is dark. The walls are dark brown and a small round table with a white lace tipped cloth is to your right. An oil lamp, with a navy blue shade and gold base, is on top of the table, unlit.  
"Miss, your tea is ready.". You turn around. It is your maid Nancy. She has her hands connected to each other in front of her, over her white frilly apron. You look back out the window.  
"Miss, would you like me to bring in your tea?".  
"No, thank you... I'm really not in the mood for tea today, Nancy...", you say, with a sigh.  
"As you wish, Miss.", says Nancy.  
"Nancy...", you say, looking out the window and in a soft voice, "When is Father coming home?".  
"On the midnight train, Miss...", says Nancy. She adds on, "So midnight, yes?".  
You sigh. "The last time he said he would be on the midnight train he came back with an injury...".  
Nancy says nothing. You turn your head around, with tears in your eyes. "And he came back at noon!". You try holding back your tears. Mother used to tell you that ladies never cry in front of their servants. You turn your head around, looking out the window again. You cover your face with your hands, crying. Sniffles come out. Nancy tsks with consideration of your feelings and walks over to you. She puts her hands on your shoulders, looking at you.  
"Miss, why don't we go for a little walk around the pier, to get your mind off of these thoughts?". You nod your head, wiping the tears off of your face.

It is later that day. Rain is falling heavily on you and Nancy. You are both wearing rain jackets and bonnets. Nancy is carrying a bag in her hand, filled with groceries. You both get in a carriage, holding your bonnets on your head. You get in first, Nancy follows. Nancy closes the carriage door. You take a seat across from her. Your gloves are soaked in water. You pull off your gloves and look at them with a frown. Nancy pulls a fresh pair of white gloves out of her bag and hands them to you with a smile. She take the wet gloves from you and puts them in her bag. You put of the fresh pair of gloves while looking out the carriage window. Nancy looks at a list in her hand, moving her finger down the paper.  
"Let's see, I've got yah, dah, dah, dah, dah... oh, fiddle dee diddle! I forgot the flour!", says Nancy. She looks up at you. "Miss, do you mind?".  
"Go right ahead...", you say, looking at her. Nancy smiles. She puts her list in her bag. She takes her bag and walks out of the carriage. You sigh. You look out the window. You see a seagull flying overhead and a part of London that you have never been to before: The East End. You have heard stories about it, yes, but the curiosity of the place makes you, well, curious. You open the door of the carriage. You look around. No one is in sight. You get out of the carriage. You head towards The East End, holding your coat with one hand and your bonnet with the other. Your coats blows in the wind. Rain is pouring down on you.

You reach The East End. You look around. There are puddles everywhere. You are about to go down a street when a young boy with dark brown hair pushes you to the ground. You struggle with him, yelling and sweating in the rain. Your bonnet falls off. The young boy takes the bonnet and runs away. Your hair is wet and in a mess. Your ribbon is out and your hair is flat. Your clothes are covered in mud and water. You are kneeling on the ground. You start to cry. You cover your face with your hands. You are very saddened by this.  
"Hey...", a voice says from behind. You look at a puddle in front of you. You see your reflection. From behind, you see the reflection of another younger boy, however, he is much older and more mature than the other boy. He is frowning. His eyes are reflecting in the water. They are bordered by dark lines, so they stand out tremendously. You turn your head around. He is standing. His hair is light orange and shoulder length. He is standing straight with his hands at his side. In his left hand, he holds your bonnet. A minute later, he holds out his left hand to you, with the bonnet in it. You grab his hand with your left hand, holding your dress with your right. He pulls you up. He is taller than you. His shirt is whitish blue. His pants are tan. He is shoeless. His shirt is big. His left arm is completely covered by a sleeve. His eyes are dark purple. He is very good looking. He looks at you with his beautiful purple eyes and a look that is of concern for you. He looks down, smiling slightly at your bonnet.  
"Oh! I wanted to return your bonnet...". He laughs, underneath his breath. He looks at you. He hands you your bonnet. You take it, feeling the soaked hat in your hand. "Sorry about that... my friend can't go very far with one leg and I just couldn't let him steal anything today, not today, at least...". He chuckles. You frown.  
"Why? What's today?".  
"Ha!", says the boy, closing his eyes and smiling. "My birthday, of course!".  
You look at him with a puzzled expression. You tilt you head to the left.  
"Everyone knows that! Then again, you don't look like you're from around these parts...", says the boy, tilting his head to the left and with a frown. His eyes are open, looking at you.  
"N-No...", you say, looking down at your bonnet. He looks down.  
"Oh...", he says, with a sigh. He looks up at you. "Where are you from?".  
"Not here.", you say, looking down. The boy smiles with his eyes closed.  
"Well, I suppose anyplace is better than here! And a young lady such as yourself...". The boy stops. He opens his eyes and covers his mouth with his hand. He looks at you, trying not to laugh. "Hehe, you're a mess!", he chuckles, keeping his hand over his mouth. You put your left hand on your hip and slap him with your wet bonnet. You frown. He closes his eyes and smiles, moving his left arm over himself, blocking attacks. "Hey, hey! No need to get feisty!", he says, laughing. You stomp your foot and pivot around, walking away. He chases after you, holding his left arm in the air. "Wait! Where are you going?". You keep walking.  
"Does it matter?", you say with a frown.  
"Yes, it matters!", he says, following you. He catches up to you. He puts his left hand on your shoulder. "You can't just leave without saying goodbye!", he says with a frown. You stop. You sigh. You turn around and face him. His hand is still on your shoulder. You take out a breath. He looks at you. "Now what's gotten to ya?".  
"My mother says that when a young man insults a lady, you should courteously walk away...", you say, somewhat angry. He looks at you, puzzled. You notice his hand. You look at it. "My mother also told me that a young man must never...", you say, grabbing his hand on your shoulder. "Ever...". You move his hand slowly off of your shoulder. "Touch a lady in public!". He frowns, letting his arm fall to his side. You take out another breath. You look at him, frowning. A second later, you turn around and walk away again. The boy stands there, bewildered. He smiles. He moves his hand to the side of his mouth.  
"Did your ma ever tell you that you've got a big mouth?", shouts the boy, laughing. You stop. You makes fists with your hands. You pivot around. He is laughing. His eyes are closed. You stride over to him and stop in front of him. You take your left hand and whip it at his face. You are angry. He grabs your arm before it hits his face. He holds on to it tightly. He opens his eyes, smiling at you. "My, my! You have a hot temper!". You struggle to get out of his grasp.  
"Let me go!", you say, under your breath. He smiles.  
"All that heat in one little package...", he chuckles, tightening his grasp of your arm. You struggle with him.  
"Let me go!", you say again, using your other hand to get out of his grasp. He lets go. You fall into the mud. You are covered in mud. He laughs. He closes his eyes and walks towards you. "You know, I would've let go if you said please...", chuckles the boy. He kneels down and holds his hand out to you. You take his hand with both of your hands. He pulls you out of the mud. You wipe yourself off with your hands. "Well now, you're a beautiful mess!", he chuckles, putting his hand on his hip. You look up at him. You close your eyes and start to cry. You turn around and walk away. He follows you.  
"Hey, it was a compliment!", he shouts. You keep walking.  
"What kind of compliment is that?", you say, sobbing.  
"Ok, then I was joking, just please don't cry!", he says with concern. He frowns. You stop. Tears are falling from your eyes. He walks in front of you. "Just... please don't cry...", he says, softly. You look up at him. He slightly closes his eyes and moves his left hand over your cheek. He wipes away your tears on both sides of your face. You sniffle, looking up at him. "I never really thought of you as a mess... I was just trying to cheer you up... guess it didn't work too well...", he says, softly. You look up at him.  
"You knew I was upset?".  
"Sure I did, but it's so hard to tell when somebody's sad. And to put up with it is a beast! I prefer smiles over tears, especially if it's comin' from a girl...", says the boy, smiling and with a laugh. You look down. "You know something?". You look up. "Behind all that heat is a fine 'lil lady!", says the boy, with a smile and closing his eyes. You blush. You look to your left. "Hey, and I mean it this time!", he says, laughing. You look at him. He opens his eyes and looks at you. You stare at each other for a minute. He slowly moves his left hand over to your right cheek. He places his hand on your cheek. He closes his eyes and moves his lips towards yours. You close your eyes.  
"Miss _!", you hear from behind. Nancy is running towards you, holding her dress and bonnet. You and the boy open your eyes wide. He moves his hand off of your cheek. You turn around. The boy looks at Nancy with a frown. Nancy grabs your hand. "Miss _! I was looking all over for you!", says Nancy, hysterically. She grabs your wrist. "Look at you! You're a mess!". The boy smiles. Nancy pulls you closer to her. She looks at the boy. She frowns. "You vile heathen! How dare you bother her!". The boy laughs.  
"I didn't quite get that far...", he says, softly and with a grin. Nancy is very angry.  
"You fool! Get out of here!", says Nancy. They boy stays there. Nancy brushes her hands at him. "Go on! Git!". The boy walk away. Nancy holds on to your wrist, leading you to the carriage. You turn around and look at the boy. You notice that your bonnet is in the mud.  
"Wait!", you shout, letting go of the grasp on your wrist. The boy turns around. You run towards the mud. You grab the bonnet. You look up at the boy. He is frowning. You walk up to him. "Thank you...", you say, softly. You starts to pull out a pence from your pocket. He stops you, holding his left hand out. He closes his eyes with a smile.  
"No...", he says, smiling.  
"But it's your birthday! The least I could do is...".  
"You've done all that I've expected someone like you to do...".  
"And that is?".  
"Smile...", he says, smiling. He opens his eyes. "And yours is unforgettable...". You blush, your eyes gleaming at him.  
"Miss _!", shouts Nancy.  
"Coming!", you say, looking at her. You look at the boy. "Bye...".  
"Bye...", he says, frowning. You walk towards Nancy. She grabs your wrist.  
"Don't you ever do that again!", she says. You turn to look at the boy. He waves at you with a smile. You walk with Nancy. You look at him.  
"Happy birthday!", you shout, smiling. He smiles.  
You get into the carriage, thinking "I will never forget you...". The boy watches as the carriage pulls away, thinking "You are unforgettable...".


	2. Chapter 2

It is nine years later...  
It is the first day of summer and you are making preparations for your maid's retirement party. You are now old enough to take care of yourself. Your maid, Nancy, is older, too.  
It is early in the morning. You walk down your stairs. You have matured greatly. You are wearing a white blouse and scarlet red skirt. Your hair is down and a black ribbon complements your curly hair. You have a gold pin on your collar and black button up boots on your feet. You are smiling. Nancy is watching you in awe as you walk down the stairs.  
"My, my!", she says in a raspy voice. "Come give me a hug there, Darling!". You run down the stairs, holding your skirt. You give Nancy a big hug, closing your eyes and smiling. She does the same. "To think... it's been this long!".  
"All the days were worth it with you, Nancy!", you say, not letting go of the hug.  
"How you've matured over the years is remarkable!", says Nancy.  
"Really? That's what everyone's been saying lately...".  
"And they're right to a t, my Lady!", says Nancy, holding you out and smiling.  
"I never meant to become this grown up... actually, I thought I'd stay a child for the rest of my life!", you say with a laugh.  
"You probably would've, if I hadn't been there to get you out of trouble and comb your hair everyday...", says Nancy, smiling. She sighs. "And now's the time for me to leave... do you think you can handle the world out there on your own?".  
"With all that you've taught me, I know I can!", you say, smiling. Nancy smiles.  
"That's good to hear... it's nice to know I can count on you to be a responsible young lady of London! Your father...", Nancy stops. She looks down. Your father died in a train wreck five years ago... since then you have been managing the household yourself. You sigh and hold your hand out to Nancy.  
"Yes... he would be proud of me...", you say, giving her a reassuring smile. You turn around and grab the edge of the stairway with your left hand. "Father told me that if anything ever happened to him, I would have to take on the responsibility of his estate...". You turn around and look at Nancy. "And since... then, haven't I?".  
"Yes you have, My Lady... very well, too!", says Nancy with a smile. You walk over to Nancy and put your hand on her shoulder.  
"I'm very happy to hear that coming from you, Nancy...", you say, slightly smiling. "Now... aside from those trivial matters...", you say, changing the subject. "What would you like to do for your last day?".  
"Oh, anything you wish, my Lady!", says Nancy, bowing her head. You laugh.  
"No! Today is your day, Nancy! Whatever your heart desire most, I will grant for today!", you say, with a smile.  
"Well...", says Nancy, pondering the situation. "Anything?".  
"Yes...".  
"Well, if it isn't too much trouble...".  
"Go on...".  
"Aha! I have two requests!", she says, smiling.  
"Yes?", you say, smiling.  
"One... put up your curly locks in an up do...".  
"Really? You mean...", you say, excited.  
"Yes... I think it's about time for you to look like a woman and not a child...".  
"And your second request?"  
"Well, it might sound silly, but...".  
"Yes?".  
"Well, I have always wanted to go to the circus as a child, but my parents couldn't afford to take me there... and you, my Lady, will always be a child in my eyes, so why don't we go there together? I heard there's a traveling show in London today...", says Nancy, smiling. You are now overwhelmed with excitement. You get to put your hair up like a real woman and get to go to the circus, all in one day! You are thrilled. You run upstairs to put your hair up and get ready for the show. What a great day this is going to be!


	3. Chapter 3

It is midday. You and Nancy are on the carriage ride to the circus. You have a black coat on with white gloves. Nancy is sitting across from you. You frown, looking down at your purse. Your hair is up in an up do. Nancy looks at you with a frown.  
"Miss _, whatever is the matter?".  
"I don't know... it's just that... well, father had always wanted to take me to the circus...". You remember your father. You loved him greatly. You sigh. Nancy smiles.  
"I know he did, but remembering... oh, come now! Let's have some fun!", says Nancy as the carriage stops. You look out the carriage window to see the entrance of the circus. You look at the entrance sign.  
"Noah's Ark Circus... so this is the traveling show?", you say, looking at Nancy.  
"Yes, my Lady... I heard it was all the rage in Paris!", says Nancy, excitedly.  
"Well, we'll see...", you say with a sigh. The carriage driver opens the carriage door. You walk out first, holding both sides of your skirt. Nancy follows. You look up at the entrance sign. "Noah's Ark Circus...", you think, admiring the blood red sign. You look at the big top. It is yellow and blue striped with a flag on top. There are balloons hovering in the air near the tent. The smell of popcorn and cotton candy enriches the summer air. You close your eyes and picture it to make sure you have the sights and smells memorized.  
"Come on, Miss _! The show's about to start!", shouts Nancy, waving at you from behind the entrance. You open your eyes and run to her, smiling.  
You both walk into the big top. The place is slightly dark and very humid. Hundreds of people are gathering around the stage. Nancy gives the ticket man your tickets. She grabs your right arm and leads you to your seats. You both sit in a middle row around the stage. You take your seat. You look at the crowds of people waiting to see the show. Hundreds! You sigh. You look at the stage. It is tan dirt. There is a cage and some multicolored platforms on the dirt. There is a rope going across the top of the tent with two wooden platforms at each end of the rope. Two trapeze sticks hang from the top as well. A minute later, everyone is silent. You look around, not sure why. Nancy taps your shoulder and points at the stage. You look down. From where you are, you see a man with... orange hair? And he has on... a white glove... and the other hand is behind his back. He has on a black and white checkered vest. His pants are black and he has white black tipped boots. A yellow bow tie resides on his chest. A long purple cape covers his shoulders and back. He takes a bow, closing his eyes and smiling.  
"Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls of all Ages!", he exclaims loudly. "Welcome to Noah's Ark Circus!".  
"Where have I...", you think, questioning the man's voice. You have heard or perhaps seen him before... but where? When?  
"My name is Joker!", says the familiar man with a smile and looking up at the crowd. "I like to juggle, and as you can see...", says the man, bringing his right hand to the front with a bunch of different colored balls in it. His hand looks abnormally different compared to the other... you can't really tell from where you are sitting. The man throws the colored balls into the air and attempts to juggle them. A ball hits his head and the rest tumble to his feet. The crowd laughs at his antic. "I'm not the best juggler in the world!", says the man with a laugh.  
"That laugh...", you think to yourself. "I know I've heard that laugh somewhere before...". Your eyes gleam at the man. The man looks up at the crowd with gleaming eyes and a smile.  
"You are in for a treat, my friends! Today we have feats beyond your wildest dreams! Here! Up on the wire!", exclaims the man, holding his left hand up. You look up to see a white rose covered person walking across the rope, balancing with a white umbrella. She manages to walk from one platform to the other with ease. The audience applauds at this feat. The girl takes a bow from atop the platform. You look back at the man. He smiles and laughs. "Next we have our snake-human half breed!", exclaims the man, pointing at a boney man next to him. The half breed has grey hair and green snakes cover his entire body. Green scales cover his face and body as well. The audience cheers at the sight of the being. The man laughs again. Where have you heard that laugh? "Our knife thrower never misses his target!", exclaims the man, looking at a boy. The boy is holding several daggers in his hands. He is wearing a black and tan hat and a black and tan shirt. The boy winks at the audience and throws his daggers at a target repeatedly and rapidly. He walks over to the target and moves his hands at the target, winking again. Bull's-eye. The audience cheers with excitement. The man closes his eyes and smiles, moving his left hand on the back of his neck. "Now the only man I know who can breathe fire!", exclaims the man. A big muscular man comes on stage and eats fire on a stick. The audience applauds. "Then we have the two flying blanco!", exclaims the man, looking up again. You look up. Two tiny children soar on the trapeze, moving back and forth and holding onto each other. The audience cheers. The two artists jump on a platform and hold each other's hands and close their eyes while taking a bow. "And now...", exclaims the man, closing his eyes. "The one you've all been waiting for... our animal tamer!", exclaims the man, opening his eyes and moving his hand towards a black haired woman with a whip. The audience applauds. The woman smiles. A big tiger comes at her and the woman, without hesitation, whips the tiger right in the face. She braces herself as the tiger comes at her again. She whips at the tiger's head again. "Betty!", she shouts with a frown. The tiger stops growling. The tiger walks up to the woman and lets her pet her head. The woman smiles. The crowd cheers. The man laughs and looks up at the crowd. "Well! It has been a spectacular show and I hope to see you all again soon!", exclaims the man with a smile and a bow. The audience applauds. The crowd begins to leave. You stare at the man without blinking. You sweat.  
"I know I've seen him before...".  
"Miss _, the show's over!". You look up. Nancy is standing up, looking at you.  
"Yes...", you say. You keep your eyes on the man. He looks up and turns around. You think...and think...and think... wait... you remember... nine years ago... at the East End... could he be...  
"Miss _!", says Nancy. You remember Nancy telling you that... after he...  
"You vile heathen!"... you remember it clearly...  
"I didn't quite get that far... that far... that far...", he said... you see his face... in his... that smile... that laugh... those eyes...  
"Smile..."... he is smiling at you... you are smiling back... this is a dream... an instant of reality... he is here... you are here... all over again...  
"Miss _!" "You vile heathen!" "I didn't quite get that far..." "Smile..." "Miss _!" "You vile heathen!" "I didn't quite" "Smile..." "Miss _!" "You heathen!" "I didn't" "Smile..." "Miss" "Heathen" "didn't" "Smile..." "Miss" "Smile..." "Miss"  
"SMILE..."  
You stop. His face... his smile... unchanging... never forgotten... unforgettable... he is he... he is he... they are both... one in the same... unbreakable... unchanging... never forgotten... unforgettable...  
"Miss _!"  
"NO!", you shout, slapping Nancy. You frown angrily. Nancy covers her front with her arm. She frowns, on the verge of crying. You hold your arm in front of you. Both of you look at each other for a minute. You move your arm down slowly. You run into Nancy and start sobbing. "Oh, Nancy!". She closes her eyes and gives you a hug.  
"It's ok, child...", she says softly. You stop crying. You look up at her.  
"Child?".  
"Yes, and you'll always be one if you keep this up...", says Nancy.  
"Keep what up?", you say, letting go of her. "Whining to you? Getting supervised when I can take care of myself? Is that what a child is to you, Nancy?". Nancy looks at you with a smile. "Well, I'm not a child!", you say angrily. You walk past her, pushing her.  
"Miss, where are you going?", shouts Nancy. You keep walking.  
"I'm going to start again what should have never ended in the first place!", you say, walking away from her and walking to the tent's flap. You hold onto the flap with your right hand. You breath out, closing your eyes. You feel like looking at Nancy... but something inside of you prevents this from happening. You open your eyes. You look up and walk out of the tent.


	4. Chapter 4

You look around. People are walking past you near the tent. You sigh and start walking to your right. A girl passes you with a balloon in her hand. Three boys in chaps and brown hats run past you, laughing. You hold onto your coat, frowning. A smiling couple and two gentlemen also walk past you. You stop and look up at the sky. The smells emanating from food stands calm you down, slightly. All sorts of voices are heard around you... talking, animals, laughing, music. A crank organ is playing "London Bridge". You close your eyes. You picture his voice in your head as it was nine years ago.  
"Smile...".  
You open your eyes. All other sounds are drowned out. The music, the laughter... everything. It sounded so real. But how could it have been? It was only a memory... or was it...  
You close your eyes and listen some more. Everything... the voices, the sounds... are no longer there. You listen... calmly... quietly... for his voice. You hear a girl crying behind you, her wailing being the only sound left in your mind. You frown.  
"Now, now, smile...".  
You open your eyes. He never said that! Never! Was your imagination so good that things he never said before could now be heard in your mind? You get the urge to turn around. What you see nearly makes you faint.  
"Now, now, smile...". It is he, kneeling before the girl that passed you with a balloon in her hand... it apparently blew away, because the girl, short of her balloon, is in tears. Her hands are covering her eyes. He looks at her, very concerned, very sweetly. "Here...", he then says, reaching into his left pocket and closing his eyes. "Let me make it all better...". He takes out a red balloon from his pocket and blows it up. He ties it. The girl looks up and frowns.  
"It's just another balloon! It's gonna blow away, too!", she says, crying.  
"Oh, on contraire! This balloon, unlike the one you had before...", he says, throwing it up in the air and watching it drop to the ground, "Doesn't float! That way, you won't be able to lose it again!". The girl grabs the balloon in her arms. She looks up at him.  
"How is this possible?", she asks with gleaming eyes.  
"Well, I'll let you in on a secret...", he says, moving his face closer to hers and whispering in her ear. "My breath is the only one that can make a balloon float or not...".  
"Really?", says the girl with wide eyes.  
"Yep... ask anyone... better yet, don't tell anyone I told you... we'll let it be our little secret, 'k?", he says, smiling and standing up. He puts his hands on his hips and grins. The girl nods with a grin. She runs to her left, holding the balloon tightly in her arms. He watches as she runs away. You blush. You are not sure if you should approach him this unexpectedly. You turn around and frown, looking down and closing your eyes. You are on the verge of crying. "How could I be so naive?", you think to yourself. You feel something touch your right shoulder. It feels somewhat like a hand, only longer and boney.  
"Miss...". His voice! You open your eyes, terrified... your heart is beating faster than a drum. You turn around quickly to see him two inches away from your body. He is looking at you with his memorable purple eyes... but he is frowning. You blush madly. The first thing that comes into your head is blurted out upon seeing his right hand for the very first time on your shoulder.  
"Your hand!", you nearly shout. He looks at his hand and quickly takes it off your shoulder. He puts it behind his back.  
"Oh, I'm sorry!", he says, looking down. "I had a little...". He stops. He looks up at you. His eyes are gleaming. He looks back and forth at your eyes. "Say that again...".  
"What?", you say quietly, your heart beating even faster than before.  
"Your hand! The way you said it sounds familiar...", he says, questioning you. You look down. He lifts your chin up with his left hand. You look into his eyes. "That face...". Your insides start to melt. You smile shakily, as though trying to give him an unspeakable sign of remembrance. You blink. "Smile...", he whispers to himself. Now you are on the verge of passing out. "I know who you are...", he says, smiling. You breathe a sigh of relief. He remembered. He never forgot. "Queen Victoria!", he exclaims, letting go of your chin and putting his hands on his hips. He closes his eyes and laughs. Your eyes open wide. Your mouth nearly drops to the floor. "How do you do, Your Majesty?", he laughs. You put your hands in fists. He does not stop laughing. You slap him with your purse.  
"Don't you remember me?", you say, angrily.  
"Well, I was down to two guesses...".  
You look at him questionably.  
"The slap did the trick! Only one girl I know gets that mad when you insult her... and her Royal Highness doesn't hit young gents from the circus!", he chuckles, opening his eyes and smiling at you. You are mad at first, but smile sarcastically soon after.  
"It wasn't much of an insult...", you say, sarcastically and with a smile.  
"I know! That's what did the trick!", he laughs, closing his eyes.  
"Ha, ha...", you say, again sarcastically. He opens his eyes and looks at you.  
"You know, it doesn't take much to get you mad... but to get you to smile... now that's a different story...", he says, getting serious. "Turns out, I'm the only one that makes you smile... right?".You look into his eyes. You look down. He comes up to you and puts his left hand under your chin, lifting it up. "Right?". You smile sweetly. He looks into your eyes. You are both gleaming into each other's eyes.  
"Hey, Boss!". You both turn your heads. A boy is walking towards you. It is the boy that threw daggers in the big top. He is frowning. He stops and looks at you both. "Oh?".  
"What is it, Dagger?".  
"Well, Big Sis's having trouble with Betty again... hehe... but it looks like you're preoccupied with your own...".  
"Shut up and show me the tiger!", he says, stopping him. He whips his hand from under your chin. You frown. He walks over to Dagger.  
"Well now, Boss...", says Dagger, chuckling. He hits Dagger on the back and pushes him away. He sighs and looks at you. He smiles sweetly.  
"Meet me tonight at the big top! Tell your friends!", he shouts, laughing and closing his eyes. Dagger walks away. "I mean it this time...", he whispers, opening his eyes and smiling sweetly. You smile and wave at him. He waves at you. He turns around and follows Dagger. You put your hand down and watch as he leaves.  
"I'll be there...", you say to yourself, smiling.


	5. Chapter 5

It is evening. You have been waiting around the circus all day, looking forward to tonight. At last! You get to see him! No longer would Nancy be looking over your shoulder! You have control over your life now! He is what makes you smile! You need him... you want him. You stand by the flap of the big top. Your right hand holds firmly onto the flap. You look to your right. The sun is setting above the trees in the distance. Your hair blows calmly in the wind. You look at the flap and then at the ground. You close your eyes. "This is it...", you think to yourself, as though you were about to engage in something extraordinarily challenging. You look up, opening your eyes. You breathe out and take a step into the tent. You walk in, holding your purse close to your body. You close the flap. You look around. The tent is dim. Shadows reflect on the walls of the tent. You do not see anyone around. You sigh with disappointment. He did not come. He did not care. You turn around and start to walk out of the tent... until, from behind, bright lights blink on. You turn back around. Hundreds of lights are shining on the stage. You drop your purse. You use your right arm to shield your eyes from the gleam of the lights. You slightly close your eyes. "What is this?", you think. You soon get your answer.  
"WELCOME!", a familiar voice shouts from the stage. You walk closer to the stage to see him standing there, walking to you from the middle. "TO THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH!", he shouts. You put your arm down. The light is no longer bothering you. You smile and laugh. He smiles and walks to you, up to the colorful borderline. "My name is Joker, as you know, gents... and ladies...", he says with a bow and closing his eyes, his right hand behind his back. He opens his eyes and stops bowing. He walks right up to you from behind the border with a serious look on his face. "Or don't you?". He puts his hands on top of the borderline. You blush, looking down.  
"No... actually, this is the first time I've ever been told, your, 'name'...", you say, looking up.  
"Well, when you're in the circus, everyone has a, 'name'...", he says, going along with your sarcasm. "Now, tell me... what happens to be your, 'name'?", he says, moving his face closer to yours and leaning on the borderline. You blush and look away.  
"_...", you say, quietly. He moves his face even closer to yours.  
"What?", he says, loudly.  
"_...", you say, louder and looking at him.  
"What?", he says, moving his face closer.  
"_!", you shout, backing up.  
"WHAT?". he exclaims, moving himself closer to you.  
"_, _, _, _, _, _, _, _!", you shout, backing up. Each time you say your name, he leans in closer to you. After the last one, he falls completely over the border face first into the dirt. You grin and laugh. He starts getting up by pushing his hands on the ground. He is frowning. You stop laughing. You walk over to him. You touch his shoulder. "I'm sorry... are you ok?", you say, very concerned. He grins.  
"Am I ok?", he says, grinning even more. "Am I ok? I'm better than ok, 'cause I got you!", he says, grabbing onto your legs and holding you over his shoulder. You giggle as he carries you around the outside of the borderline, running.  
"What are you doing?", you laugh, putting your arms around his neck.  
"You'll see...", he says, walking through an opening in the borderline. He closes the opening and carries you to the ladder of one of the tightrope platforms. He puts you down. He takes off his cape and boots, throwing them on the ground. He walks over to you. He walks behind you. He puts his arms around you, over your chest. You are burning up inside. He unbuttons your jacket, slightly closing his eyes. He is looking over your right shoulder. You can feel his breath on your cheek. He whips off your jacket to reveal a puffy white blouse underneath. You look up, nearly dazed. His hands are around your waist. He grabs your left wrist with his left hand, now looking over your left shoulder. You close your eyes, your mouth slightly open. He lifts your hand up to his face. He moves his hand slowly up to the tip of your finger and gently pulls your glove off. He holds onto the tip of the glove and then whips it to the ground, keeping his eyes on you. You drop your arm down to your side. He looks over your right shoulder. He grabs onto your right wrist with his boney hand. He curls his fingers around your wrist. He moves his left arm over your head and gently grabs the tip of your finger with his left hand. He slowly removes the glove from your right hand. He whips your glove to the ground. You put your right arm down to your side. He grabs onto your waist with his left arm. You open your eyes. "Come this way...", he says, walking you over to the ladder. He lets go of your waist and starts to climb up the ladder. You look up at him.  
"Where are you going?", you say, looking up at him with a frown.  
"Come follow me, and we will be, together...", he sings. He looks at you. "That is, if you take your shoes off... it helps when you're treading on the wire...", he says, being informational.  
"Treading? Wire?", you say, worriedly and looking up at him.  
"Come on! It's not like I didn't want to unbutton your boots... it would just take too long...", he says, looking at you with a grin. You blush. He walks up the ladder as you kneel down and unbutton your boots. You stand up, taking your right boot off first and then your left. You walk over to the ladder and start to climb up it. He watches from atop the platform as you climb cautiously up the ladder. He takes hold of your arms at the top and lifts you on top of the platform. You look down. You sweat. You cover your eyes, moving your head to your right.  
"It's so high up!", you say in your hands.  
"Yeah, it's scary at first, but you end up liking it eventually...", he says, looking at you. You take your hands off of your face. You look at him. He walks over to the wire. He puts his left hand on the wooden pole next to it. "Have you ever seen anything like it?".  
"No...", you say to yourself, looking at him. You look at the tightrope and realize what he was really talking about. "N-No! I haven't! Never!", you say, correcting yourself. He smiles.  
"Oh, ok... then you're in for a treat! The circus is filled with thrills like this, but none outdo the tightrope... yes, sir! Many a man have lost their life on a 'rope like this... no lifeline, no nothing...", he says, looking at the wire with a frown. "And I'm sure many a woman lost their lives on a rope, or from a rope, he, he, he...", he says with a chuckle. "But I aim to change that...", he says, looking at you. He walks behind you and closes his eyes. "You see, when a man loves a woman, he plays as her lifeline... he holds onto her...", he says, grabbing onto your waist. "And never, ever lets her go...". You blush madly. You feel his breath on your cheek again. He takes a breath in and out. He lets go of your waist and walks over to the rope. "Well, that's enough of that... time to move on to the real fun!", he says, chuckling. You frown.  
"Fun? You consider risking your life balancing from one end to the other fun?", you say, worriedly sarcastic.  
"Yep... and it's worth every minute if you have someone to join in the risk... someone who acts as your lifeline when you can barely make it across yourself...", he says, seriously and somewhat to himself. He sighs and pulls his chest in, standing up straight. "But the important thing is having fun while you're doing it, right? So let's get going!", he exclaims, taking a step on the wire and looking down at it. You walk slightly over to him.  
"Wait! You're not just gonna leave me here!", you shout, holding onto your blouse. He looks up at you with a smile.  
"Of course not! I've got it all planned, see? Now you go in front...", he says, getting off of the wire and moving you in front of him. He holds tightly onto your arms. You frown.  
"No, no! I refuse to take one step on that wire!", you say, trying to back up. He pushes you closer to the wire.  
"Ok then... take two steps!", he exclaims, forcing you on the wire. Both of your feet are on the wire. You look down, shaking. "Now when I let go, hold your arms out even with your shoulders... that way, you won't fall on the next step...".  
"Next step? Wait!", you exclaim. He lets go of your arms. You hold out your arms as he instructed. You slightly shake. You start to look down.  
"Don't look down!", he shouts, before you can even take a glance underneath the wire. You look straight across the rope, a nervous wreck waiting to happen. You continue to shake slightly. "Now walk!".  
"I'm afraid to!", you exclaim, curling your fingers in your hands and out again.  
"Just do it!".  
"I can't!".  
"Yes, you can!".  
"I need a lifeline! I can't make it on my own!".  
"I've got you!", he says. You can feel his hands wrapped around your waist. His head is over your right shoulder. "Don't worry...", he says, "I won't let you fall...". You sigh, feeling relief from him being by your side. You both look across the wire to the other platform. You take a step forward. He takes a step forward. You slowly make it across the wire, each of you taking a step after the other. When you are about to fall, he lifts you up... when he is about to fall, he holds onto you. The two of you make it across the wire safely. You step on the wooden platform at the end of the rope. He follows, not letting go of your waist.  
"We did it! We walked across the wire! And...", you exclaim, looking at him.  
"Yep...", he says, his arms around your waist. He smiles. "And?".  
"I think I'm gonna be sick!", you say, running over to the wooden pole on the platform. You put your left hand on the pole and lean on it, holding your mouth with your right hand. You close you eyes and breath in and out. He looks up and turns around.  
" Ah...the cost of having fun...", he says, with a smile and a laugh.


	6. Chapter 6

It is nighttime. The lights have dimmed inside the tent. You are both sitting on top of the wooden platform, engaged in a good conversation. You are sitting with your legs hanging over the platform and your hands flat. He is sitting on your right. His legs are hanging over the edge of the platform, crossed at the ankles. His hands, like yours, are also flat on the platform to both his sides. You are about a foot away from each other. He looks up at you with a big grin on his face.  
"So anyway, the man comes in with three jars of popcorn kernels! And I tell him, 'Sir, if you expect me to juggle those jars on a limb, then you are quite mistaken!'. And he asks me, 'Why?' and I tell him, 'because I only got one!'.", he exclaims, holding up his left hand and closing his eyes. He laughs. You laugh.  
"Really? And then what did he say?", you ask with anticipation and a smile.  
"Oh, nothing much, just this and that about using the kernels for popping. What a nut, right?", he says, opening his eyes and looking at you.  
"He's not the only one...", you say with a smile. He opens his mouth sarcastically as though he is offended, but then rubs it off, giving you a sweet smirk.  
"Hey, you be careful what you say about the king of the circus!", he says with a smile.  
"Some king! I bet you have those employees of yours running around in shambles!", you laugh. He blushes and smiles. He looks down.  
"They're, um, not exactly my employees, so to say...".  
"Oh? But I heard that boy out there call you 'Boss'...", you say, questionably.  
"Oh, well that's just Dagger... they all call me 'Boss', but really we're more like a Family...".  
"A family?", you say, again questionably. He sighs and closes his eyes, frowning.  
"We came here together... Father...", he pauses. Your eyes are gleaming at him. You put your hands on your lap, folded. "Father rescued us from the workhouse... if it hadn't been for him...". He sighs. "We would've never made it out of there alive... he's the one that started this circus... he gave us the freedom to be who we wanted to be, to live the lives most of us never had as children...", he says, seemingly on the verge of crying.  
"He held his hand out to you when you needed him the most?", you say, eyes gleaming at him. There is a pause. "I envy you...". He looks up, eyes open. You look down. He looks at you. "My father was never there when I needed him... he was always on business trips... one time he came home with an injury from a train accident... the next time... the next time he...". You wipe back a tear. "He came back in a coffin...", you say shakily. He looks at you now with gleaming eyes and a frown. You take a deep breathe in and out. "But that's all the past now... I shouldn't dwell on it...". You look up at him with hopeful, gleaming eyes and a smile. "And knowing you have such a loving, considerate one changes my view of a father...".  
"But he's not really my...". He stops. He looks at you and smiles. "Yeah...", he says quietly.  
"And your Family... what kind of people are they?", you say with a smile. He laughs.  
"Oh, where do I begin on them?", he chuckles.  
"Well, how about that boy we met outside, Dagger, was his name?".  
"Oh yes, Dagger, the flamboyant knife thrower...", he says with a laugh.  
"How did you meet him?".  
"Well, it was in the East End, of course... the cute little tike had brown hair that could beat a grizzly's... loveable, cuddly... hmph, I don't know what happened!", he laughs.  
"And now how is he?".  
"You saw him! His fast remarks are almost as quick as his daggers! But, nevertheless... he's my Brother and I can't expect any less from a boy that just hit puberty...".  
"Some nice big Brother you are...", you say with a smirk.  
"Hey, why do you think he calls me 'Boss'?", he says with a laugh and a smile.  
"And the others?".  
"Oh, they're all the same in their own way! Take Jumbo, you know, the big strong guy with all the muscle? He's big on the outside, but it's his heart that really outshines the strength. And Peter and Wendy, the trapeze artists? You would think they would be sweet as pie, but oh, boy...", he says, putting his head on top of his arms on the platform. He looks up with a smile. He turns around and looks at you, his head on the side of his left arm. "And Beast... do you know how hard it is to control that temper every, single, day? Geezza, polizza!", he exclaims, looking up and throwing his hands in the air above him.  
"But you still love them though... right?", you say, quietly.  
"Yeah, I still love her...". He cuts himself off. "Uh huh, them! Them! They!", he exclaims. He sighs and smiles. He puts his arms underneath his head again and looks up. "They mean the world to me...", he says, quietly. You sigh and frown. You look in front of you. Wind slightly blows on the hair sticking out of your up do. You close your eyes. They... his Family... mean the world to him... how can he, someone with all this love... spare any more? Is it even possible at this point? You sigh again. And you... so deprived of 'family love'... would you ever fit into his world if there was? You open your eyes. You look down. Thousands of feet above the earth... away from your world, away from your troubles... for hours, for days... pondering life seems only possible this high up... so lonely... but you are not alone. He is here... you look at him... he is resting on his thoughts... his eyes are closed... wind slightly blows his hair, too, but it is ignored... he takes in soft, minor breaths... his skin pale, his heart beating faster than the breaths he takes in... he is very content. You are now feeling... ashamed... not from staring at him, but rather, because you got this far. Imagine that... nine years ago, this would never have been possible... now it is all reality and you, who had been looking forward to seeing him someday since you met, feel regrettable for linking the chain that never quite was together. He has a life... did you think he was still the poor boy on the street, without money? Without love? Did you think seeing him again would ever bring back or, if it had not already, start something? You expect too much... you want too much. You lost your mother at a young age... and your father, well... soon after you left the poor boy on the street did your father leave you... perhaps you think that he replaces your father? Never... father never gave you the attention you deserved... you were always alone in your world. Nancy was the only one who... no... she did not care about you, either... she thought you were a child... and you are, right? A child? Children run on their own without control, and that is what you did... but for him, why? Why? Was there even an answer? Is there an answer to any of your questions? Oh, it is all too confusing! You sigh and look down again. Thousands of feet above the earth... far away from your world, even farther from your problems... how is it than that more problems exist in this world, in this life? You are not alone... he is with you... but the problems in this world may only be faced by you, and you alone... you look up at him and think, "Why would he want to be with a girl that has so many questions with so little answers? Why doesn't he run away and avoid trouble? What is it about me that causes him to stay, regardless of all that surrounds us? And why... why would he need any more than what he already has?". You sigh once more and look down, closing your eyes. "The best thing for me to do now...", you think, "Is for me to get up and leave... he clearly doesn't have any interest in what little I have to offer... my heart...".  
"Why me?". You open your eyes. Did you say that out loud? You look at him. His eyes are open and looking up. He is slightly frowning.  
"W-What?", you say, somewhat in fear. He stands up and wraps his right arm around the wooden pole, not facing you.  
"I'm just a juggler and not really worth my weight in anything... I've been poor all my life!". You frown and glare at him.  
"We...".  
"And that's not just it, either!". He turns around and walks up to you. "I'm always acting like a ridiculous fool! You know, there hasn't been one day this jester didn't tell a joke, or laugh, or smile? That's the trouble with being a fool... you're always going overboard...". He walks back to the pole, not facing you again. He puts his right hand on the pole for a second and sighs. He looks at his right hand. He takes it off the pole and holds it in his other hand. He moves his left hand up and down his right hand. He frowns. "And it doesn't help that you're disabled... not having a right arm is like, not having feet to stand on...", he says quietly. He sighs. He closes his eyes. "A girl like you needs a guy with more to offer than just one arm, a few pence, and a lot of nonsense... I just... I just wish I had everything you desire...". Your eyes gleam at him. You stand up. You smile.  
"Now look... I may be rich and therefore seem completely unneedy... but the truth is... the truth is that in my eyes you appear to have...". You look down and clasp your hands together. "More than this rich girl could ever hope to acquire...". You look up and walk closer to him. "And you're not a fool... fools act stupid, and crazy, without thinking and that causes many people grief... but you, well, if you are deemed a fool, it's not because you hurt people... it's because of the laughter you bring to them every, single, day of your life!". He opens his eyes. You walk closer to him from behind. You take hold of his right arm. He glances down at it with a frown. You look at his arm. "And your arm... God! The worst you could tell me is what happened to it!", You kiss the tip of his right hand's pointer finger. "But that doesn't matter... it's a part of you, and really all that matters is that you are alive and well after the incident...". You walk from under his arm and over to his left side. You put your right hand on the left side of his chest. "And I know you've got a heart... God, I know you've got a heart! Why, even before I felt this did I know you have a heart! You are so kind... considerate... loving... things you would never expect from a poor man! And your Family...". You look up at him. "They love you because of those things, because of who you are...". He looks at you.  
"And you?".  
You walk past him from his left side and look down, clasping your hands again. "I... I find it difficult to live up to the kind of person you are... surely I'm not in any way like you...". You frown, closing your eyes. He turns around and looks at you. He walks over to you.  
"Yes, but...". He grabs onto your waist and looks over your right shoulder. "I don't want you to be..." He squeezes you tighter and says softly and sweetly, "I love you... just the way you are...". You open you eyes. You turn around and look at him. You look into each other's eyes. "And if you don't mind... the way you've always been...". He takes his left hand and removes the pin from your hair, revealing your long curly locks. He drops the pin on the platform. He lightly brushes a strand of hair from the left side of your face with his left hand. He lightly brushes your bangs from the right side of your face, but does not remove his hand. He places his hand on your cheek. You feel his warm hand on your cheek. You look into each other's eyes. He closes his eyes and tilts his head, moving his lips closer to yours... his right hand clings onto your waist. You close your eyes. Your lips meet. You kiss him sweetly back. You both open your eyes. You look into each other's eyes. His lips are close to yours. "I hope it wasn't too soon...", he says softly, his breath wisping warmly on your lips.  
"It's never too early to say I love you...", you say, softly, also wisping warm breath. He smiles. You wrap your arms around his neck. He wraps his arms around your waist. You both close your eyes again and, with loving hearts and smiles, embrace each other in the most suitable way... a kiss.


	7. Chapter 7

_ Tom, he was a piper's son..._

The streets of London were cold and dark nearly every evening... as he remembered. Residences were not homes and pebbles were not cobblestones... that was the streets of London. Beggars walked down alleyways... the common people feared them... they feared the common people... most of the time, they feared each other the most. To live with the beggars, the poor... it had been so all his life in the streets of London. He had no choice... he was born that way. But he was not the only one... many children roamed the streets of London because, like him, they were without chances or dreams... nothing in their future existed beyond the streets of London. They were poor and hungry... could not they earn money to buy food? He, he... not in the streets of London. It was hard enough for adult beggars to survive... and even if they did, their life was their life... no portions were given in the streets of London.  
Everyone was a class, he soon came to learn, like regal positions in the streets of London. At the top was the Queen... he knew that only because of what others around him had said... for most, if not, all the poor Englishmen and women, did not know or simply not except this fact. Next came the Noblemen and then the Noblewomen... he had been told to stay away from people with titles in their name. Then came the common folk, which he knew quite well... they are the ones you beg to if you need food or money. And lastly, of course, was the poor... now, you would think he would be the lowest of the low... in reality, he was much, much lower. He had a handicap... a step down, but he was also a child... another step to hell... the only thing lower then he were handicapped girls... they were the weakest of them all in the streets of London. It was a survival of the fittest... being so low made him even more weak. Then why? Why did he choose to live day in and day out in the streets of London? He was doomed for the workhouse... a boy of sixteen was the first to go. Perhaps it was because he knew the struggle would be even greater there. He had to... try and live his life to the fullest in the streets of London... he might never have had the chance to do so again.  
And so, the poor boy wept the tears for all in the streets of London, inside of himself, away from true reality in cool night air. He was strong, very strong... built up to his fullest. So, rather, it was a fact that because of what he suffered through and forced to learn whilst in the streets of London did he gain his strength and mentality. He learned to laugh at sad things and cry when things were beautiful... it was his way... it was his nature. He was greatly deprived as a child... as a teen, he somehow managed to bring happiness into his life...  
And then there was that day...

"Momma, momma! Can I have some chocolate?".  
"Sure, sweety! As soon as we get home!".  
"Ha, ha, ha!".  
He watches as a mother and her child walk on the cobbled streets... shopping, perhaps. He frowns. He looks down. "Chocolate, huh? Boy, could I go for some right about now...", he says to himself. Something hits his sleeve. He looks to his right. A boy with dark brown hair is limping past him, heading towards the mother and child. He grabs onto his collar and pulls him back. "Hey, what do ya think you're doing, you crazy nut?", he exclaims, not letting go of the boy's collar.  
"I wanna getta cap!", the boy shouts, struggling in his grasp. He looks at him with a frown.  
"What for? To use as a puffy dish?", he says, not amused.  
"No! It's gonna rain an' I don't wanna get wet again!", the boy shouts, struggling. He sighs.  
"That's inevitable...".  
"I don't care if it's in good'er something, I wanna cap!", the boy exclaims. He sighs again.  
"Can't you use a tarp or something?".  
"No, no, no!", the boy exclaims.  
"Look boy, that leg of yours isn't getting you anywhere near a cap!".  
"Well, what am I gonna do?", the boy says, nearly weeping. He puts his hand on the boy's shoulder and looks at him.  
"Let me handle it... I'll get you one...", he says. The boy smiles slightly. He sighs and looks up at the sky with a frown. "Damn, it is gonna rain...", he thinks to himself. The last time it rained, he got a severe cold that nearly killed him. He sighs. "Oh, well... it's not like I can control the weather... guess I'll have to find a cap, too... and I hate wearing hats...". He looks down at his shoes... holes in the soles, as always. He walks over to a wall and sits down against it. He removes his shoes, throwing them on the ground in displeasure. A crackle of thunder is heard above him. A flash of lightening lights up his face. His saddened purple eyes look up. A drop of rain falls on his nose. And then... BOOM! He cowers underneath his arm, his eyes closed tight. A downpour makes him wet quickly. He looks foreword, his arm still over his head. A group of kids are covered in a tarp across from him, also cowering near a wall in the alleyway. They stare back at him with frowns on their faces. He looks down and, for some strange reason, closes his eyes and starts to laugh. His laughter is low at first, but then increases to a full blown hysteria. Here he is, a poor, hungry boy on the streets, laughing up a storm within a storm. He stops suddenly and looks up at them again. He smiles slyly. "You think I'm gonna die, don't you?", he says, not loud enough for them to hear and yet not really to himself. "Well, you're mistaken!", he shouts, this time loud enough for them to hear. "I've got a purpose...", he says, somewhat to himself. "Why else would I STILL, BE, LIVING?", he shouts angrily. "Damn God... damn world... damn life... curse it ALL if I don't get what's coming to me!". His eyes are madly radiant now. He holds his knees in his arm and looks down with a frown, clenching his teeth together in anger.  
"I've seen the likes of him before...", a woman whispers in the dark. "Next he'll cry before he's driven mad...".  
"Are you sure he isn't already?", another woman says to her. The first looks up at him, smiling slightly.  
"No... he still has hope.". A young girl from underneath the tarp looks up at the women. She looks at them with gleaming eyes. She then looks at the boy cowering in the darkness of his world, also with gleaming eyes and curiosity. And then, as if it is a miracle, the rain stops. The boy looks up and, as though weight was lifted from his shoulders, stands up. He smiles, looking at the children underneath the tarp.  
"See? I'm still livin'...", he says with a sly grin.  
"AHHH!". He looks over his right shoulder. He sees a young girl struggling with the cap boy. He frowns. The boy manages to steal her bonnet. The boy limps towards him, bonnet in hand and with a grin on his face.  
"I gotta cap!", the boy exclaims, holding it in the air. He frowns and swipes the bonnet from the boy. He makes him sit on the muddy ground and starts to walk towards the girl.  
"Yeah and that's not the only thing you're gonna get!", he says, rather angrily. He ignores the boy as he is walking. He can tell that the girl is crying. He walks up from behind, holding his left hand out to her with the wet bonnet in it. He looks down at her and is immediately in awe. Her face... her hair... never before had he seen such beauty in a girl. Was it even possible? "Hey...", he says, trying to get her attention, something that would perhaps stop her from crying. She looks up at him. Her eyes are gleaming. He clenches his teeth again, this time not from anger, but from nervousness. Sweat falls down his face. She grabs onto his hand after a minute or so. He pulls her up to him, rather close. He backs up a little, in fear of violating her in any way. He looks into her eyes. Sweat falls down his face. "Why am I here again? Oh!", he thinks to himself, looking down at the bonnet. He quickly throws up the bonnet, right in front of her face. "Oh! I wanted to return your bonnet...", he says, laughing underneath his breathe. "You dumb fool! Pay attention!", he thinks, giving himself a slap in the face in his mind. "Now explain to her! Explain!".  
"Sorry about that... my friend can't go very far with one leg and I just couldn't let him steal anything today, not today, at least...". Another face palm. His birthday! How could he forget his own damn birthday? He knew it was today... he had to... it just seemed a day not worth celebrating. Oh, well. It is kind of funny. He laughs. The girl frowns at him.  
"Why? What's today?", she says, somewhat displeased with his laughter, apparently.  
"Ha!", he says, closing his eyes and smiling. "My birthday, of course!". Birthday... what a joke. She looks at him with a puzzled expression, tilting her head to the left.  
"Everyone knows that! Then again, you don't look like you're from around these parts...", he says, tilting his head to the left and with a frown. He thought it seemed fitting to play around with her... it was his way of flirting, so to say. He opened his eyes, looking at her directly.  
"N-No...", she says, looking down at her bonnet. He looks down.  
"Oh...", he says, with a sigh. He really wanted to say, "Oh, that's too bad... I want to see you more often...". Then maybe there was the chance that he could. He looks up.  
"Where are you from?", he says, holding back the anticipation.  
"Not here.", she says, looking down. He smiles. "Good...", he thinks. "I guess it's better that way...".  
"Well, I suppose anyplace is better than here!", he says, closing his eyes and with a smile. "And a young lady such as yourself...". He stops. He opens his eyes. He looks at her. Covered in mud... he tries to keep himself from laughing. A young regal girl, covered in mud! He covers his mouth, trying to hold back the laughter. "Hehe, you're a mess!", he chuckles. It was hard to hold that in. She puts her left hand on her hip and slaps him with her wet bonnet, frowning. "Well, now!", he thinks, "Didn't expect that outta her!". He closes his eyes and smiles, moving his left arm over himself, blocking attacks.  
"Hey, hey! No need to get feisty!", he says, laughing. She stomps her foot and pivots around, walking away. He opens his eyes and looks at her. "Oh, no! Did I do something wrong?", he thinks. "No... maybe that's just how she is...". He begins to chase after her, holding his left arm in the air.  
"Wait! Where are you going?", he says. She doesn't stop walking.  
"Does it matter?", she says with a frown.  
"Yes, it matters!", he says, pursuing her even more. "I've never met a person as beautiful as you...", he thinks, desperately wanting to tell her his thoughts. He catches up to her, putting his left hand on her shoulder.  
"You can't just leave without saying goodbye!", he says with a frown. She stops and sighs. She turns around and faces him. He keeps his hand on her shoulder, not wanting to let her go. She takes a breath. He looks at her. "Now what's gotten to ya?", he says considerably.  
"My mother says that when a young man insults a lady, you should courteously walk away...", she says, somewhat angry. He looks at her, puzzled. "Mannerisms...", he thinks, never quite up to them in his environment. She notices his hand, looking at it.  
"My mother also told me that a young man must never...", she says, grabbing his hand "Ever...", she says, moving it off of her shoulder.  
"Ou! She's holding my hand! What's next?", he thinks, sweetly to himself.  
"Touch a lady in public!", she says, letting go of his hand. He frowns and lets it fall to his side. She takes another breath. She looks at him with a frown. A second later, she turns around and walks away again. He stands there, bewildered.  
"What a girl!", he thinks to himself. He smiles. He moves his hand to the side of his mouth.  
"Did your ma ever tell you that you've got a big mouth?", he shouts, laughing. If one insult leads to hand holding, surely two bring even more. She stops. She makes fists with her hands. She pivots around. "Oh, how funny!", he thinks, laughing and closing his eyes. She strides over to him and stops in front of him. She angrily takes her left hand and whips it at his face. "Woah!", he thinks, taking hold of her wrist before it hits his face. He holds onto it tightly, feeling her struggle within his grasp. He opens his eyes, smiling.  
"My, my! You have a hot temper!".  
"Let me go!", she says, under her breath. He smiles.  
"All that heat in one little package...", he chuckles, tightening his grasp. "Her struggle is marvelous...", he thinks, in awe.  
"Let me go!", she says again, using her other hand to get out of his grasp.  
"If you say so...", he thinks slyly. He lets go, sending her daire first into the mud. She becomes covered in mud. He laughs. He closes his eyes and walks towards her.  
"You know, I would've let go if you said please...", he chuckles. He kneels down and holds his hand out to her. She takes his hand with both of her hands. He pulls her out of the mud. She wipes herself off with her hands. "Well now, you're a beautiful mess!", he chuckles, putting his hand on his hip. She looks up at him. She closes her eyes and starts to cry. She turns around and walks away. He follows her. "Hey, it was a compliment!", he shouts. She keeps walking. "Oh, God... what have I done?", he thinks to himself.  
"What kind of compliment is that?", she says, sobbing.  
"Ok, then, I was joking, just please don't cry!", he says with concern. He frowns. She stops. Tears are falling from her eyes. He walks in front of her. "Just... please don't cry...", he says, softly. "I hate to see you like this...", he thinks to himself. She looks up at him. He slightly closes his eyes and moves his left hand over her cheek. He wipes away her tears on both sides of her face. She sniffles, looking up at him. "I never really thought of you as a mess... I was just trying to cheer you up... guess it didn't work too well...", he says, softly. She had looked down... the way she looked up at him for the first time... her eyes were red... she had cried before. She looks at him with gleaming eyes.  
"You knew I was upset?". Was that even a question?  
"Sure I did, but it's so hard to tell when somebody's sad.". He had not really noticed until now. "And to put up with it is a beast!". He really could not stand negativity. "I prefer smiles over tears, especially if it's comin' from a girl...", he says with a smile and a laugh. She looks down. He could feel himself blushing. Inside, he felt warm, lifting even more weight off his shoulders. Now he had one more thing to say in order to break the ice. "You know something?". She looks up. "Behind all that heat is a fine 'lil lady!", he says, with a smile and closing his eyes. Now she is the one who is blushing! She looks to her left. "Hey, and I mean it this time!", he says, laughing. She looks at him. He opens his eyes and looks at her. They stare at each other for a minute. He slowly moves his left hand over to her right cheek. He feels the warmth from her cheek on his hand when it is placed on it. "Now...", he thinks to himself. He closes his eyes and moves his lips towards hers. She closes her eyes.  
"Miss _!". They both open their eyes wide. A strange woman is running towards them. He looks at her with a frown. He moves his hand off of her cheek, very reluctantly. She turns around. The strange woman blabs at her, calling her a mess. He smiles.  
"Hehe, you don't know the half of it...", he thinks to himself. The woman pulls her away from him.  
"You vile heathen! How dare you bother her!". Bother? Is that what he was doing? He laughs.  
"I didn't quite get that far...", he says, softly and with a grin. Oh, would he have liked to go farther...  
"You fool! Get out of here!".  
"Hehe... woman, you're not getting rid of me that easily...", he thinks to himself. He stays there.  
"Go on! Git!", she says, brushing her hands at him. He sighs and walks away.  
"Shame that didn't last as long as I would've liked...", he thinks. He is is very disappointed.  
"Wait!", he hears from behind. He turns around. The girl is running towards him Hm? He frowns. She walks up to him.  
"Thank you...", she says, softly. She starts to pull something out of her pocket... money perhaps. He holds his hand out. He did not want charity from the girl he loved. He closes his eyes with a smile.  
"No...", he says, smiling.  
"But it's your birthday! The least I could do is...".  
"You've done all that I expected someone like you to do...".  
"And that is?".  
"Smile...", he says, smiling. He opens his eyes. "And yours is unforgettable...". She blushes, her eyes gleaming at him. He feels himself blush again, having said those words out loud.  
"Miss _!", shouts the strange woman.  
"Coming!", she says, looking at the woman. She looks at him. "Bye...".  
"Bye...", he says, frowning. The one word he never wanted to say was said. She walks towards the woman. She looks back at him. So she is happy... she must be. He smiles and waves at her.  
"Happy birthday!", she shouts with a smile. He watches as her carriage pulls away.

"You are unforgettable...".

And then it is night. The stars are out in the sky, shining away the darkness. A moon is there, too, joining the stars in their glorious triumph over darkness. The poor boy is on the ground, gazing at the stars. His head is resting on his arm. He is smiling.  
"What'er you doing?". He looks to his right. The cap boy from before is kneeling beside him, by his head. The boy is looking at him with gleaming eyes.  
"I'm looking at the stars... why? What are you doing?", he asks sweetly. The boy's hands are on the ground in front of him. The boy moves his head closer to his face.  
"Some lady told me you were loony...".  
"So? What's wrong with that?", he says with a laugh.  
"Nothing's wrong, I just... want what you got...", the boy says, somewhat to himself. He turns to the side to look at him.  
"What do ya mean?", he says, not finding his comment at all amusing... perhaps it was amusing, just the application towards him made it seem threatening.  
"Well, maybe it I become loony... I'll get sick and die! That way, I won't have 'ta go to the workhouse!".  
"Nothing's worse than the workhouse, but I have to admit, dying will always be worse...".  
"And how would you know? You've been there before?".  
"...Sure...", he says, looking up at the sky again. He sighs. He frowns. He puts his hand on his chest.  
"What's it like? Tell me, tell me!", the boy pleads. He puts his arm over his eyes.  
"God damn, how am I supposed to know?", he says, aggravated.  
"But you just said...".  
"I didn't say nothin'! I just said I was kinda there and that's all!".  
"Well, what did ya see? What did ya see?", the boy says anxiously. He takes his arm off of his eyes and looks up at the sky. He puts his hand on his chest for just a second and then lifts it up, pointing towards the sky. He frowns.  
"See those stars up there?". The boy looks up at the stars in awe. "That's how many people live in the workhouse... and see that moon?", he says, pointing at the moon. The boy looks at the moon. "That's how big the workhouse is... it may seem big, but imagine having to fit all those stars into the moon...". There is a pause. The boy looks at him.  
"But what if they can't fit everyone into the workhouse?". He looks at the boy.  
"Then it's natural downsizing...".  
"What?".  
"More than half of those people die in a week...".  
"From what?".  
"Conditions, you know, poor housing, starvation, that sort of thing... sickness, mostly...".  
"Well then, I should he okay...". He looks at him, questionably. The boy smiles. "I'm a young boy, so I'm sure to live the longest!", the boy says, with gleaming eyes. He frowns. He knows well in his heart that children, especially the disabled ones, were the first to go. He looks at the boy. He is a dreamer... he can clearly see it in his eyes. He smiles, rubbing the boy's head.  
"You have great ambitions, just like me...", he says, closing his eyes and with a smile. The boy smiles.  
"So I'm loony, too?".  
"Yes...", he says, not wanting to disappoint him. The boy gives him a hug, closing his eyes, too. He puts his hand on the boy's head. A minute passes before he releases the hug. The boy sits next to him with his leg sticking out. He puts his hands flat on the ground in front of him again. They both look at the sky.  
"So... what do ya do when you're loony?", says the boy. He puts his head on his arm again.  
"Well, you gaze at the stars and dream... dream of a world far beyond the likes of ours...". He closes his eyes. "And you imagine souring in the clouds above you, far, far away...".  
"And are you hungry?".  
"No... never...".  
"And legs?". What? Really? Did he just say that?  
"What do you mean?".  
"Do we have both of them?".  
"Of course!". The boy smiles.  
"I wanna take my best friend there someday...".  
"Oh? And who is that?".  
"I don't know, but she's gonna be pretty!" the boy says with a grin. Yes... he did just say that.  
"Oh, I can only imagine...", he says sarcastically. There is a pause.  
"And who are you gonna take?", the boy asks. He opens his eyes. He remembers the girl from earlier. He is frowning. His eyes are gleaming at the stars. He smiles.

"Someone special... definitely...".

It is the next morning. The boy opens his eyes. He is still on the ground. His hand is on his chest. Several drops of rain are falling on him. He sits up. "Quick! Under the tarp!". He looks behind him, to his right. The kids from before are underneath the tarp, including the boy. The young girl is holding up the tarp for him. He stands up and runs to the tarp, sinking his head underneath it and kneeling down. The young girl drops the tarp on his head. He sighs. He frowns. Just when he is on the verge of giving up, the unthinkable happens...

"Hello, everyone...".

They look up. A man with glasses and sideburns is looking down at them. He is rather chubby. He has a big grin on his face. An umbrella protects him from the rain. His hand is extended out towards them.  
"My name is Baron Kelvin, but you can just call me 'Father'...".  
"F-Father?", he says, quietly and confused. The man holds his hand firmly out to him.  
"Come now, don't be shy...", the man says with a smile. He looks from one kid to the other with a frown. He slowly lifts his hand up towards the man's, kind of scared. The man grabs onto his hand, lifting him up underneath his umbrella. He looks at the man. "There! Much better!", the man says, again with a smile and looking at him. He looks up at the umbrella with a frown. The man looks at the rest of the children. "Now, who's next?", he says sweetly. The young girl looks to her left and up at the man. She holds her hand out to him and he grabs it, pulling her up, as well, underneath the umbrella. She looks at the man. She falls on the man. The man catches her, holding her over his shoulder. She has one leg missing. The man smiles. "Ok... now let's help everyone up!", he says, looking at the children underneath the tarp again. They help everyone stand up, extending their hands out to them. He helps the boy up, putting his arm over his shoulder to help him walk. "My, my! I will have to get you both crutches!", says the man, very jolly.  
"Crutches? Really?", says the boy with a grin. The man touches the boy's nose. The man smiles.  
"Yes, sir! And that's not all...". They give him puzzled looks. "I'm taking you all to my mansion... to live with me there!", says the man, smiling. He looks at him, somewhat confused.  
"But why?".  
"I'm your Father... isn't that reason enough?", the man says with a smile. He looks down. A father... he never had one... so is this what a father is? He looks up. He smiles. Everyone smiles. He nods his head. The man smiles. "Good! Then let's get going! I would hate to see any of you catch cold in this kind of weather!". The man starts to walk out of the alley. Everyone follows him. He is here, at last! The dreams they thought were of a mad man are now coming true! It is to be a new world, a new life... a new beginning... and he is already enjoying himself through and through!


	8. Chapter 8

A woman with frivolous dreams...

You open your eyes and look up at him... it is evening still and you have just ended your embrace. He looks down at you with his big purple eyes... concerned... loving... and slightly tearing up. Your first ambition was to kiss him... now it is the latter. You wrap your arms around his waist, giving him a hug. Your head is gently rested over his right shoulder, as is his over your right. You hold on to him tightly... not wanting to let go... ever. You frown, not sure why. You close your eyes...

_"It's never too early to say I love you..."_

You dwell on your words... did you mean them?

_"I love you..."_

Did he mean his?

You open your eyes and look down. Thousands of feet above the ground, contemplating love... will it thrive or die... soon? You wonder, high above the earth... and then your world catches up to you...  
"I'm sorry, but I really must be going...", you find yourself saying, and, as quickly as you were up, you find yourself back down again... by the entrance you came into, earlier that day. He looks at you, his cape softly blowing in the midnight wind. You stand there, looking down, almost as though you are ashamed of looking at him in the eye. Your hair and dress are flowing with the breeze. The stars and the moon are shining down on you, putting you in an unknown spotlight. You wait a few seconds before turning around and walking to your awaiting carriage.

"See you in nine years..."

You stop. The words he just had to say, confirming what you could not let yourself believe... a fling... just a... fling... but he said it so quietly, as though he did not believe it himself... was it because there was no confirmation of another meeting that the words "nine years" seemed relevant to bring up? And the "I love you's..."... with those words they meant nothing...  
You are a girl with ambition... you want more in your life than just games... you lick your lips... it is time to say the impossible...  
You look down. "I...", you say, quietly, unsure of yourself. You clench your gloved hands together, shaking them, holding back.  
"I've gotta be stronger than this... for him... for us...", you think, tightening your jaw. You turn around and walk back to him. You look into his eyes with full determination.  
"I want to see you again...".  
He looks at you... he smiles, looking very relieved. He takes hold of your right hand with his left. He closes his eyes and kisses your hand gently. He opens his eyes as his lips slowly leave your hand and looks at you.  
"I'll be waiting...".  
You stare at each other for a minute, he still holding your hand. You turn around and walk away, his hand slowly... gently... leaving it's grasp...

You are home. It is late at night. The lights inside are out. You walk into the house. Nancy is waiting for you, holding a burning candle in her hand.  
"Where have you been?".  
"I...".  
"Do you know what happens to women when they stay out late? Hm? Do you have any idea?". Nancy walks up to you with an angry look on her face.  
"I was not looking for trouble, Nancy...".  
"Oh? Then just what were you looking for? The gold at the end of a rainbow?".  
"I said, I was not looking for trouble!", you say, angrily and putting your coat on the rack.  
"Oh, that's so, huh? It's so hard to tell what you're after these days that a poor woman like me only assumes the worst... and your hair!", exclaims Nancy, looking at your long locks. "What happened?".  
"If you really must know, I lost my pin...".  
"Where at?".  
"The circus...".  
"Oh... oh, really... are you sure that isn't the only thing you've lost... at... the circus?", inquires Nancy sarcastically. You slap her.  
"How dare you say such a thing?", you exclaim, holding back anger. You turn away from her and start to walk up the stairs.  
"So it's true then...", she says quietly, rubbing her cheek.  
"NOTHING'S TRUE! EVERYTHING YOU SAY IS LIES!", you shout back, looking at her with angry eyes. You start to walk up the stairs again.  
"Then don't expect advice from me...", she says quietly, "When you find out what is really true... and what is really fake...".  
You open your bedroom door and walk in, slamming the door behind you. You run over to your bed. You collapse on it, sobbing in your pillow.  
"Why can't anyone ever agree with me? Why am I always wrong?".

_"That's the trouble with being a fool... you're always going overboard..."_

You look up.

"You're not a fool... and neither am I...".


	9. Chapter 9

_He learnt to play when he was young..._

The days he spent from then on were shorter... he remembered them well. Most of those days, he recalled, were spent inside...  
"What are you doing?".  
He turned around. A girl with light brown hair, covering the left side of her face, was joining him in the quiet hallway. It was dark... a small streak of sunlight shone in from the window he was looking through. The young girl stood considerably far away from him, keeping her distance. He frowned.  
"Hm... why? Is somebody worrying about me?".  
"No...", she said, looking down. "It's just that... well... I saw you peeking through the window...".  
"Oh, is that it? Well, I'm sorry if you thought I was specifically looking at you...", he said with a laugh.  
"No, no!", the girl said, holding out her hands and looking at him.  
"Then what's wrong?", he said, walking up to her.  
"I don't know... I was just wondering why you look out the window everyday...", she said quietly, looking down again. He sighed and walked over to the window.  
"I can read the clouds...".  
"What?", said the girl with surprise.  
"I know when it's gonna rain...".  
"But it's sunny today!".  
"Yeah, how 'bout that...", he said, somewhat to himself, looking down and closing his eyes, his left hand in his pocket.  
"So why aren't you outside?", inquired the girl. He looked up again. Being outside for the majority of his life had a definite toll on him... he no longer had the desire to have a sun that never shown on him in the rain shine on him now. He sighed.  
"You're too young to understand...", he said, not looking at her. She frowned.  
"I don't wanna understand! I wanna play!", she demanded, looking at him with gleaming eyes. He turned his head slightly. She was young, about six... ten years older was he... and yet, when he was her age, the word "play" was never brought up. He had not a reason to "play" with anything. He was on his own most of the time as a child, hardly ever getting attached to someone or something. He was a lone wolf, set for the ages... and here was she, an equally lonesome girl... even she had more dreams than he these days. Perhaps it was where they were? But it was a workhouse... the ever feared place of terror... but it felt nothing like what he expected... he had the freedoms only those with families possessed, and the unmeasurable love streaming from an unbreakably kind man. He was king of this world in his castle of seclusion... a roof over his head that, unless he was brutally forced from it, would remain forever above him. He knew that... and yet this girl did not. She was naive of his mind, of his thinking... she knew nothing like his hardships... and if she did, she sure was strong... getting over those are no easy task. But she apparently did, if she had any... and if she did not, she had a better childhood than he. What could she possibly know about suffering? What could he learn about strength? He knew there was a spark inside that needed to come out... perhaps she was wood to ignite the fire...  
He looked outside. Cursed sun! Cursed rays! Where were you when I needed you the most! But I have to, I must, praise you... proclaim the glory you bring in the life of this child...  
"Well, don't just stand there like a dope...", he said, walking past her and rubbing his hand on her head. "Let's go outside and play!". He smiled.  
The young girl laughed. Her laughter brought tears to his eyes. He felt something inside that made his heart pump vigorously... the joy a child's laughter brought to him. He followed her outside as the sounds of roaring laughter and song tinted his ears. He found himself humming the words... never to be forgotten...

_Tom, he was a piper's son  
He learnt to play when he was young  
But the only song that he could play  
Was "Over the hills and far away"  
Over the hills, a great way off  
The wind shall blow my top-knot off..._

"You shall be named Dagger, and Jumbo, and Beast...".

"So I hear you're starting a circus...", said the man, looking up at him, holding onto his cane. He smiled.  
"That's right, Father... every one of us kids is gonna be a part of it!", he said with a smile. The old man looked at him with gleaming eyes.  
"How nice... now whatever gave you that splendid idea?".  
"Well... hearing the laughter of children and seeing the happiness we bring to each other... I thought, well, what if we, a bunch of poor kids, could share that happiness with the rest of the world? A circus does just the trick!" he laughed. The old man smiled again.  
"Is that so? Do you have a name for your circus?".  
"I was thinking Noah's Ark Circus, only because you read that story to us last night... how does it sound?".  
"Lovely, lovely! And I want you to know that I approve of this...".  
"Oh, sorry, Father! I forgot to ask you!".  
"No problem... I think it's nice that you have grown to love children as much as I... being a lonely man for years, I feel most content when in the presence of children... special children in particular...", he said, somewhat to himself. He shook his head. "Well, now! Have you a name for yourself?".  
"Joker...".  
"Joker?".  
"It fits, doesn't it?".  
"Yes... rather well... you always did seem like a fool to me...".  
"A fool?".  
"Yes... a fool... staying in all day when you should be out playing...".  
"I stopped doing that, Father! Ever since... never mind, it won't happen again...".  
"Good! And what names do you have for the others?".  
"Wanna see?".  
"Certainly...". They both walked over to the window.  
"That one right there, see? Her name is Beast...".  
"Beast? That's a rather violent name for such a pretty girl...".  
"Yes... but, she's gonna be our animal tamer... she's not afraid of animals... in fact, she loves them!", he said with a smile. The man looked up and pointed at someone else.  
"And he?".  
"Oh, him? He's Jumbo, our fire breather...".  
"And her?".  
"Doll, the tightrope walker...".  
"And those two?".  
"Peter and Wendy... trapeze artists...".  
"I see! Such fitting names! Is that all?".  
"Not quite... see that boy over there?", he said, pointing to a dark haired boy. "That's Dagger... he doesn't look the part, but he's gonna be our knife thrower...".  
"Amazing! Absolutely amazing! And you know what? I can see you going far with this troupe... I really can!", the old man said with a smile.  
"Say... when can we start, Father?".  
"Hm?".  
"I mean... with practicing and all... haha, we need some, that's for sure...", he laughed.  
"Oh, right away! Right away! But first, I have a little surprise for you all...", the man said, walking over to his desk and grabbing a card. "I have this friend... you can refer to him as Doc... he's a doctor that specializes in prostetics...".  
"Prostetics?", he said with a frown. What on earth was that?  
"It's a type of artificial limb... I gave him a call today and he has agreed to see you all in person to examine your, lack there of...".  
"What? You mean...", he said, looking at his absent right arm.  
"That's right... every one of you has a disability of some sort, the kind that he is willing to correct... I'm sure you have no objections?", the man said, giving him a slight glance.  
"No! Not at all!", he said, smiling. An artificial limb... a prostetic... an arm is an arm, and getting one back was gold to him. "How soon is he gonna examine us?".  
"The day after next... he would have come sooner, but...".  
"Oh, no problems, Father!", he said, walking over to him and giving him a hug. Two days was nothing compared to sixteen years... it was well worth the wait.  
"Good, good... now Joker, there is one little thing I would like you to do beforehand...".  
"What is that, Father?", he said, letting go of him. The man smiled slyly.  
"I want you to take into consideration that what I do for you here should not go unrewarded...".  
"What do you mean?", he said with a frown. The man got up from his chair and walked over to the window, looking outside.  
"You are very privledged here, compared to all the other runts still on the streets... don't you think they deserve as much as you?", the man said, twiddling his fingers behind him. He looked down. He was right... they deserved just as much as he.  
"Yes...", he said quietly.  
"Well then...", the man said, "You understand perfectly, in that sense... but, what about all the children who have never been on the streets? The ones that have been priveledged all their lives? Do you think they understand?".  
"No...", he said, again quietly. He never really thought of it before.  
"You see, Joker, those kids are spoiled brats that could never understand your hardships... you know why?".  
"Because they never experienced them...", he said, frowning. The old man smiled.  
"Now you see, that is why we must correct their understanding of poor people... poor children... and how exactly do we do that?".  
"I don't know...".  
"You don't know? Why, we take everything from them!", the man exclaimed, pounding his fist on the window. He looked at the old man, confused.  
"And how can we? It's not like they're gonna give up everything to understand...", he said with a frown. The old man looked at him.  
"Simple! We... take them from their homes and bring them here to live with me! That's how it's done!", the man said with a smile. He looked at him, even more confused.  
"You're not serious... are you, Father?".  
"Serious? I'm dead serious! How else are they gonna understand what you went through... every... single... day?", the man said, walking up to him. He just could not look at him.  
"But that's crazy, Father...".  
"Crazy?", the old man said, grabbing his chin. "Do you know how long I have... waited, to see him? Those blue eyes, that face... that smile... sure it's crazy... but not impossible...", he said, letting go of his chin and walking back to the window. He did not understand what he was talking about. That poor old man... what did he want?  
"So... what exactly do you want us to do, Pop?". The old man turned around, looking at him. He walked up to him and, lifting his hand, slapped him.  
"You address me as 'Father'!", the man exclaimed, angrily. He rubbed his cheek.  
"I understand...", he said quietly. "What is your request... Father?". The old man walked over to the window again, twiddling his fingers.  
"I want you... to bring me... some of those spoiled brats... bring them here, and I promise you that for every child you pick up, one will be saved off the streets...". The old man looked at him. "Understood?".  
He clenched his fist. His teeth held tightly together. It was an unreasonable... stupid request... but if it meant saving one of his kind from a life not worthy of any child, then perhaps... perhaps... it was worth it.  
"Yes, Father...", he said, closing his eyes and taking a bow.

"Understood..."

"Boss...". He turns around. Dagger is walking towards him. He waits for Dagger to reach him... he frowns. "It's time...", says Dagger, also with a frown.  
"Is everyone ready?".  
"Yep.. Sis, Jumbo... and Snake's on guard again...".  
"What about Doll?".  
"Aw, does she have 'ta come? I'm getting sick of her chatterbox...", pouts Dagger. He shakes his head.  
"We're in this together... we always have been...", he says with a frown.  
"I know, I know... let's just, get it over with so I can come home and have some tea with Sis...".  
"Since when do you have tea with anyone?".  
"Since Sis...", says Dagger with infatuated eyes.  
He rolls his eyes. "Ok... I wouldn't mind getting it over with... while I feel this way...", he says to himself. Dagger looks at him, somewhat confused.  
"Oh? And how's that?".  
"Never mind... let's just go already...", he says, pushing Dagger out of the way and walking into the circus. Dagger smiles.  
"You mean that lady friend of yours...".  
"What?", he says, stopping and sweating slightly.  
"You know... the one I saw earlier today... she's not just a... fling... is she...", says Dagger, walking up to him and putting his head over his shoulder with a kissy face.  
"And... when did you see her?", he says, sweating more.  
"I told you, earlier today... I never saw you get that close to a lady before...".  
He pushes his face away. "It's really none of your business, Dagger... your assumptions are gonna be the end of you someday...", he says, walking towards the tents. Dagger laughs.  
"I don't NEED to make assumptions when I know the truth!", says Dagger with a smile. He turns around, looking at him.  
"Oh... and that would be?".  
Dagger, on his knee, holding onto his heart and closing his eyes, extending one hand out to he: "Joker, Joker, wherefore art thou, Joker? As I stand with one knee bent, are you amoungst the snakes or a circus tent? Come to me, and fulfill my heart's content!".  
Joker throws a rock at his forehead. "You're obnoxious, you know that?", he says with a scowl.  
"Really? I thought I was Shakespeare for a minute there...", laughs Dagger, standing up and rubbing his forehead.  
He rolls his eyes. "Whatever, enough with the fun and games... let's meet the others and get this over with...".  
"Right!", says Dagger, running over to him. He looks up at the sky. Only an hour ago was he in heaven... now he is in hell.  
"How is it that I understood him then and not now? What influence keeps me going on like this?", he thinks to himself. He sighs. "Whatever... let's get this over with...".

They leave, unaware that something green and scaly had been watching them the entire time...


	10. Chapter 10

_You are having that dream again... you are five years old... running in a field of flowers... you are smiling... then, the sky turns black... a train shines light on you... the ground turns into a coffin... and a hand pulls you in... the coffin closes, leaving you in the darkness..._

"NANCY!". Your eyes are wide open... you are holding onto your blanket, breathing in and out quickly. A maid walks in.  
"My Lady...". You look at her. You sigh, closing your eyes. It was a dream. There is no need to worry. "I brought you your tea...". You open your eyes and look at her.  
"But... isn't Nancy...". You stop. She is retired now. You sigh again.  
"Miss Nancy left a note... here it is...". The maid hands you a note. She bows and walks out the room, leaving your tea on the night stand. You look at the note. You open and read it.  
"Miss _... I requested a temporary leave from... my superiors... you probably want to know why this is only temporary... well... I felt that I am needed here still, because...". You start to tear up. The note shakes in your hands. "Because you are not ready to be on your own... just yet... and I am willing... to send you... away... so you can... learn... what I obviously... have not taught you... yet...". You cover your eyes with one hand. Tears fall in between your fingers onto the note. Why... must she feel this way? Does she not care about me? Or does she... and I do not obey her wishes? And then... you hear something... music? Coming from... outside? You wipe your face and stand up. You walk over to your bedroom window, opening it up. You look outside. A crowd of people are standing in the street, watching the circus pass by. You close your eyes and breathe in the smells of the circus. You smile. Your long hair blows in the morning wind. Circus members are passing out flyers. You hear a familiar voice shouting.  
"Two more nights left! Don't miss out!". You look down. It is Dagger. He gives a flyer to a little girl, smiling at her. You look through the crowd... and find him. He is talking to the animal tamer while walking... you do not hear their conversation...

"Last night wasn't so bad...", says Beast, looking at him. He sighs, looking down.  
"Yeah, I guess... but... I still don't feel...". He stops. His hair blows in the wind. He looks up, his eyes open wide.

You look at him. He pauses for a second. He turns around and looks up at you... but you are gone. You noticed him turning around and just could not let him see you in your nightgown.

"It... can't be...", he says, looking up at the window and in awe. He only saw the back of your long hair, blowing in the wind as you turned around. His mouth is open slightly.  
"What... Joker, did you see something?", says Beast, tugging his arm. He looks at the open window, his hair blowing in the wind. He looks down, closing his eyes.  
"I... thought I did... but I guess... I guess I didn't...", he says, slightly frowning. She gives him a scowl.  
"Well, let's get going! The second show starts tonight, you know!".  
"Yes...", he says, looking up at the window again. "I know...". He starts to walk again.

You are changing very quickly into your dress... it is white and lacy... you quickly run down the stairs, holding a pastel pink ribbon in your hand. The maid sees you.  
"Miss... where are you going?".  
"Out...", you say, quickly running out the door. You close the door behind you. You look around, your hands behind your back. Your grey button up boots are seen underneath your dress. You take two steps off your doorstep... you look around, but he is no longer in sight. You frown. You turn around and take a step back on the doorstep, closing your eyes and putting one hand on the door.  
"My, my... this is a surprise...". You open your eyes. That voice! Could it be? You turn your head around, your hand still placed on the door. You smile. You turn around completely, your hand now off the door. Your hands are at your sides. You are looking straight at him now.  
"Indeed...", you say, blushing. He smiles and comes closer to you.  
"So close to home... it's usually the other way around...", he laughs, somewhat serious. You blush.  
"Well, this isn't exactly... my home...".  
"Oh?".  
"My... aunt is taking me in... temporarily...", you lie, looking to your right. It is better that he does not know where I live... or my place in society.  
"Oh? Is she that old lady from nine years ago? You know... the one that stopped us... um... me from... uh...". He moves his hand over his mouth and whispers in your ear. "Kissing you?". You brush his arm away from you.  
"What? Why are you acting like it's such a bad thing to say?".  
"Well... I'm not taking any chances with her...", he says, looking up at the house. He looks at you and laughs. "I guess that's how it is these days... pesky aunts... and morbid nieces...", he says, smiling at you. You smile slyly.  
"And then the jokester comes in...".  
"And peace returns to the household!", he exclaims, laughing a little. You smile. You look at each other, smiling and with gleaming eyes. After a minute or so, he reaches his hand over to your neck. You look down at the ribbon in your hands. Instead of your neck, he places his hand on your right shoulder. He moves his hand down your arm slowly. You get chills. He stops at your hand. He lifts it up slowly. He looks at the ribbon in it. He takes the ribbon from your hand, you slowly letting it leave your grasp. You look up at him.  
"Allow me...". You nod. You turn around, facing the door. He moves the ribbon over your head. He places it around your waist. He ties the ribbon slowly and securely around your waist, in a bow. He moves both of his hands along the ribbon... following the fabric... around your waist. He clasps his hands together at the end, holding onto you tightly. He puts his head on your shoulder. You turn your head towards his.  
"Aren't you afraid of her?", you whisper.  
"Nah... besides, I don't hear any complaints...", he says, smiling. You feel his warm breath on your cheek. You smile. You turn around and wrap your arms around his neck. You give him a kiss. You embrace each other passionately... your long hair, blowing in the wind...

"Hm... why, whatever could this mean?... says Emily...". A voice in the shadows sighs... walking away...


	11. Chapter 11

It is morning. You are walking on your street with him... you are on his left. You are both walking at the same pace. You look up at him. He is frowning slightly, looking straight. You look down, frowning. He looks at you.  
"Hm? Is something the matter?", he says with concern. You sigh.  
"No... it's just that... I've never been near this part of the street before... and...", you say quietly, trying to hold back your fear. Usually, a carriage takes you where you need to go... walking is not necessary. You close your eyes, your mouth cringing. He smiles very sweetly.  
"Don't worry...", he says, looking straight. You feel something. You look at the space between you both. He is holding your hand. You feel... warmth... protection... emanating from his words... and from his grip. "As long as I'm around... no one's gonna hurt you... harm you... I won't allow it... not while I'm around...". You look up at him with gleaming eyes, your mouth slightly open. You look at your hands. He is so sincere, even if it is unintentional... what love... what passion...  
You smile and look forward. You tighten the grip of his hand.  
"Hey, mister!". You both stop, your eyes open wide. He lets go of your hand and wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. He looks to his right with a frown.  
"Yes?".  
"What do you think you're doing with that girl?". You turn your head to the right. A man is standing on a box on the other side of the street. The man looks very angry. He smiles, closing his eyes.  
"Why, I'm abducting her!", he says with a laugh. The man jumps off the box.  
"Don't kid around with me! I heard what you circus people do!".  
"Oh? And that is?". The man walks over to him and grabs his collar, pulling him up to his face.  
"Shouldn't you know, you bloody moron?". He looks into the man's eyes... surprisingly... somewhat scared. You do not understand why. He stares at the man for a long time before looking down, to his left. He feels his grasp on your waist. He frowns.  
"No...", he says, pushing the man away from him with one hand. "I don't... I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about...", he says, still looking down. He stands there for a second before walking again. You look at him with concern. He is still frowning.  
"Is that so, huh?", the man shouts from behind. "All of London knows you steal things!". The man throws an apple at his back. It hits him. He stops. He looks up, his eyes wide... even more scared than before. His mouth is open slightly. He frowns. His eyes turn angry. You look at him...  
_"What... is going on? I've never seen him like this before..."._  
He turns around, letting go of your waist. He runs towards the man with those angry eyes and grabs the man's collar.  
"How on earth... why... what do you know about any of this?", he says, in between his teeth and angrily.  
"Well, I...".  
"TELL ME!".  
"Well... chap...", says the man, trying to back off from him. "There's a rumor going around that you circus folk's been stealing food from grocers... and since I'm a grocer...". He frowns. His eyes become softer.  
"Oh... is that it?", he says, letting go of the man's collar. "I... wasn't aware you meant it like that...". He looks down.  
"Well, either way, keep your hands off my produce! And it wouldn't be bad to take them off me, too...", says the man, turning around and frowning.  
"Yes... I... apologize...", he says, still looking down, ashamed. The man sighs and walks into his store. You look at him. Why... did he act so rash? Was it because the man falsely accused him of something? You frown. You walk up to him. You hold onto his arm with both your hands and put your head against his shoulder. You smile, closing your eyes.  
"Come... let's go...", you say, sweetly. He looks at you.  
_"Perhaps it's best that she never finds out..."._  
He smiles. He starts to walk with you again. You hold onto his arm tightly.  
"You know, I realized something...", you say with a smile. His eyes open wide... worriedly.  
_"Oh, no... she couldn't of found out..."._  
You look up at him. "You can be sweet and sincere one minute... angry and violent the next...". You smile. "You are normal!". He smiles.  
"That so, huh? You must be abnormal if you think my personality is in check!", he says with a laugh. You laugh.  
"Hehe... ever think I was comparing you to a clown?".  
"Oh, now that would make sense!", he laughs, wrapping his arm on your shoulders. "Say... you haven't eaten a thing today, have you...".  
"Now that you mention it... not a bite...", you say, looking down with a frown.  
"Well then... here!", he says, flipping an apple at you from under his cape. You catch it. You look at it in your hands.  
"Wait but how?".  
"That man... he sure can spread rumors!", he says, putting his finger up to his mouth, smiling and giving you a wink. You smile at him. You look at the apple and take a bite. Very delicious!  
_"Good... now she won't assume the worst..."._  
You look up at him. "Want a bite?", you say happily.  
"Yes, of course!". He smiles and moves his lips towards your neck. You slap him lightly before he gets too close.  
"You know what I mean...", you say, somewhat in laughter. He puts his arm around your waist. He moves his mouth next to your ear.  
"Don't think I'll let you go too easily...", he whispers. You smile, backing up a little.  
"Really? I thought you were gonna say a perverted joke or something!", you exclaim, laughing. He smiles slyly. He moves his mouth up to your ear again.  
"Oh, really? Well then, to be honest... I didn't know where you wanted me to bite, so I went ahead and guessed...". This sends shivers down your spine.  
"Why. You. Sick...", you say, quietly and with wide... mortified eyes. He smiles. He kisses your ear.  
"There... now you're cleansed from a comment you were so eagerly asking for...", he says with a smile.  
"Well, if that's how you intend to flirt...", you say, walking out of his grasp. You stop and turn around, looking at him. He stops. "Don't mind it when I say my body's not up for grabs...", you say with a smile.  
"Oh, come on... you know you like it...", he says, smiling slyly.  
"Yeah... up until it makes me sick to my stomach...".  
"Well, I'm all for improvement... that I don't need much of... right?", he says, smiling slyly again. You turn around... you refuse to let him see you turn red. You clench your fists and scowl.  
"This... really isn't something to joke about...", you say, somewhat to yourself.  
"Oh? Who said I was joking?".  
"No one, no one...", you say, somewhat to yourself again. He smiles. He walks near you, snaps his teeth by your neck, and steals the apple out of your hand, taking a bite as he walks ahead of you.  
"As you can see, I get what I want...", he says with a smile. You scowl.  
"Yes, and it sure is easy for you...". He looks at you. He holds up the apple. He smiles, closing his eyes.  
"Here... want another bite?", he says happily. You scowl even more.  
"What ever happened to the first one?". He grins and laughs.  
"Gotcha again!".  
"Why, you...". You run to him. He has you chasing him through the street. You reach your hand out... and trip, falling to the ground. You look down. You cover your eyes with your hands and start to cry. He turns around and looks at you. He frowns. He runs over to you. He kneels down in front of you. He puts his hand on your shoulder.  
"Are you ok? Did you break something?", he says with concern.  
"Yeah...", you say, uncovering your eyes. "Your record!", you laugh, smiling. He jokingly scowls.  
"Why, you playing... scheming... deadly lady!", he exclaims, tickling you. You laugh uncontrollably. Thunder is now heard. You both look up. He stops tickling you. A drop of rain falls from the sky to the ground, followed by many more drops. It soon becomes a downpour. He helps you up. He takes your hand and starts running.  
"Where are we going?", you shout in the rain, holding one hand over your head.  
"To the circus... I've got connections... we can get in there without a ticket!", he shouts to you, closing his eyes and smiling. You smile back. Any place is better than no place, as long as it's not in the rain...


	12. Chapter 12

It is the afternoon. You run through the rain with him, his hand tightly holding onto yours. The rain is beating down on you both vigorously. You step in puddles of mud and water on your way to the circus. You look at your feet, and then behind yourself. The sky, in it's darkening shadow, casts an invisible wall in between where you are and where you used to be. You sigh, closing your eyes. You look up to see the circus arc ahead of you. He tightens the grip of your hand as you run underneath it. You run for what seems like hours, passing several tents, until finally, you reach the destination of his choosing… a tent in the first tier area of the circus. He opens the flap of the tent, politely holding his arm out… escorting you inside. You clasp your hands together and walk inside, somewhat nervous. The inside of the tent is sky blue. On your right, there is a pearl colored vanity with makeup on it. On your left, another vanity resides, also with makeup on it. Next to this vanity is a sky blue colored bed with white sheets underneath and white pillows. The bed is very big and takes up a good majority of the room. On the other end of the tent, there is a white screen blocking the other side of the tent. It appears to have things behind it. You find the room to be very beautiful. You stand there for a minute, looking at everything in awe. You take a step forward, not sure what to do next.  
"What do you think?". You turn around. He walks in, closing the flap behind him. You blush, not sure what to say.  
"Think of what?".  
"This room of mine! Hell, it probably makes you wanna crawl under the covers… er… I mean, hole! Yes… yes! Hole… that's what I meant…", he laughs, correcting himself. You find yourself blushing again.

_Yeah… that's what you meant, alright…_

You look down. You frown. He walks past you, towards the screen. He waves his hand in the air as he is walking.  
"Take a seat…". You look around. The only known chair is… the bed. You blush again. You slowly walk over the end of the bed and, hesitantly, take a seat. You put your hands on your lap. You look at them with a frown. He walks behind the curtain. He turns on an oil lamp that is behind the curtain. "I'm sorry I don't have any clothes for you…". You look up in shock. You turn your head in the direction of the curtain. "I WOULD let you wear some of my old clothes, but they're just too drabby… knowhata mean?", he says, unbuttoning his vest from behind the curtain and looking down. You try to control yourself from watching him undress… but it is hard.  
"Uh… y-yeah…", you say, mentally slapping yourself in the face and looking forward. You start to sweat a little. You hear his wet vest fwap on top of the curtain.  
"I'm happy you understand, but it still bothers me… I don't like the idea of you in a drenched dress…". You look at the curtain again. This time, he is unbuttoning his shirt. You look at the curtain with thirsty eyes. "It's probably very uncomfortable…".  
"Huh…", you say, drooling slightly. You mentally slap yourself again, shaking your head. "YEAH! Yeah no, it's not that uncomfortable…", you exclaim, looking forward again. You sigh, closing your eyes.  
"Haha, right… that's what they all say…". You open your eyes. You slowly turn your head towards the curtain. "JUST TO BE POLITE!". His head pops out from the left side of the curtain. You quickly turn your head back to the front, a drop of sweat running down your face. He smiles and goes completely behind the curtain again.  
"Who's they?", you say, frowning shamefully.  
"All the ladies, of course! We all know that behind that dress is…".  
"A corset?", you say, assuming that would be his joke.  
"Haha, no… I was gonna say a deafening soul, but now that you said that, I won't have to find out for myself, eh? At least… that part of it…", he laughs. You pout, crossing your arms.  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever…", you say, a little angry.  
"Say… can you hand me that shirt over there?", he says, pointing his finger towards the vanity. You get up from the bed. You walk up to the vanity and grab the white long sleeved shirt on it. You walk to the screen, holding the shirt out to him. He grabs your wrist. Shock runs through your body.

_What is he gonna do? Pull me in?_

He walks his fingers down your wrist and hand. He reaches the shirt, taking it from you.  
"Thank you.".  
You slowly move your hand back. It reaches the side of your body. You walk back to the bed, taking a seat at the end again. You put your hands on both sides of you, pressing them on the bed. You look forward, in the mirror of the vanity.  
"So you live here, huh?".  
"Yep. All my life… well, the good majority of it, anyway… it's rather morbid…".  
"Oh? I find it to be very quaint…", you say, looking around. He laughs.  
"Well, that's your opinion… but if you had to live here for as long as I have, you would find it most unsuitable… being surrounded by rats, that is…".  
"Rats?".  
"You know… those men in tents… all vermin, all vermin…", he says with a laugh.  
"You sure do talk big about your family…", you say, laughing.  
"Well, someone has to!", he says, wiping his cheek with a towel and coming back from behind the screen. He is wearing his white shirt and black Capri type pants. His shoes are off, revealing just his socks. You look at him… shocked. His hair is still wet but his makeup has… washed off! He looks just like he did… when you first met him… you stare at him as he approaches you, still wiping the towel on his face. He pulls a stool from underneath the vanity in front of you and takes a seat, facing you. He puts his hands in between his legs on the stool, slightly leaning forward. His legs are on both sides of the stool. He looks at you with gleaming eyes for a minute, waiting for you to say something. You blush, not knowing what to say. You use your right hand to squeeze water out of a few strands of hair, moving your fingers down the strands. You keep doing this, still not knowing what to say to him. He notices what you are doing. "Here… let me try this…". He lifts his towel and places it on top of your head, holding onto each end with both hands. His head is really close to yours now. He starts to wipe your hair with his towel, but then does something different… he stops. He looks into your eyes, his hands still holding onto the towel. He closes his eyes… he moves his lips towards the right side of your neck… when he reaches it, he starts to nuzzle on your neck, kissing it and such… you feel the pressure of his lips on your neck… and it is marvelous… and yet… seemingly inappropriate… he pushes both sides of the towel down slowly as he nuzzles… you push against his chest, preventing him from falling flatly on your body. You head touches the bed. His hands let go of the towel and press down on either side of you. He moves in closer to your body… your elbows slightly bend in each time he comes closer… slowly… forfeiting… they bend completely… your hands are flat on his chest. You close your eyes. You move your hands slowly to the sides of his chest… your head is tilted to the left… and your mouth is slightly open. He stops… he slowly opens his eyes. He slowly moves his lips away from your neck… his body follows. He looks at you as he is moving up, slightly smiling. Your hands fall from his chest. You look up at him, your head still on the bed. You place your arms on both sides of your body. You frown. You get up… he is sitting on the stool again. You put your hands on your lap.  
"You… look just like you did… nine years ago... the person… I didn't really understand… then how is it… when you look this way now… I know… I feel like, I know… everything about you?", you say quietly, moving to the other end of the bed and leaning against the pillows. He gets on the bed. He moves up to you, your body in his shadow.  
"Perhaps it's because… we never had the chance… to do what we are doing now...", he says, moving his left arm behind your shoulder. He looks at you with gleaming eyes. You smile.  
"If doing this is wrong, I don't know what is right! I love you with all my heart… Joker… there's no one I would rather be with… than you…", you say, feeling his cheek with your right hand.  
"Not even a noble man… or a duke… or an earl?", he whispers, slowly moving his hand up your shoulder to your neck.  
"Not even… a king… could take me away… from you…". You move his head closer to yours. You close your eyes and give him a passionate kiss. You feel warm inside… your body is burning up with desire. He moves away from your lips after a minute. He kneels on the bed, slightly towards your left. You get up a little, your head still leaned against the pillows. He looks in your eyes.  
"Are you sure I'm what you want?", he says, looking at you with a smile. You move up to him, kneeling, as well. You look at his chest and start to unbutton his shirt… from the top… one by one… very slowly. You have unbuttoned the shirt. You look into his eyes.  
"You're everything I've ever wanted… and more…", you say, wrapping your arms around his waist from underneath his unbuttoned shirt. You both close your eyes. You passionately kiss each other. You are on his lap, your legs on both sides of his. You feel the warmth of his body against yours and the sweat coming from his chest. You both release the kiss. He slowly licks your lips with his tongue, his eyes still closed.  
"Why didn't you tell me this before I put a new shirt on?", he whispers, smiling and with a slight laugh. You smile, your eyes still closed, as well.  
"I wanted you to do the same to me… to know how it feels to have the person you love unbutton your constriction…", you whisper… your breath warming up his cheek as you speak. He smiles.  
"Well then, this ought to be fun… removing the pressure from your skin piece… by piece… by piece…", he whispers, wrapping his arms around your body and slowly… passionately… unbuttoning the buttons from the back of your dress… and as he does this, his body moves closer to yours… pushing you back to where you were before… him on top, you between he and the bed. You embrace each other in love… he kisses your forehead and moves down the side of your face to your lips… he sometimes nuzzles your neck, kissing and biting… you do the same to he… kissing his cheek… his forehead… his shoulder… his lips… he moves his hand through your hair, feeling it's softness… you move your hands through his hair, feeling everything from the clips to his bleached tips in the back. You feel the back of his neck and embrace… he feels the back of your neck and embraces. He kisses the top of your chest… you kiss the top of his chest. The warmth you feel against his body is like that of a fire… ever burning… the flame of his passionate lips engages in your love for each other… and through it all, he reminds you, whenever he gets close enough to your ear, "I love you… _...".

This is your love… this is it's fire… he is your desire…


	13. Chapter 13

It is morning… dew forms on the leaves and tents. A slight fog engulfs the circus. Crickets are heard chirping and birds are singing…  
You are curled underneath Joker's arm on the bed. His head is facing you, yours the same, and both of your eyes are closed.  
Joker's eyes open slowly. He looks at you. He smiles. He plays with your hair with his hand. He is so… happy.  
"TEN MINUTES 'TA CHOW!". Joker jumps back in his side of the bed. He stops playing with your hair. He looks at the tent's entrance. He gets up from the bed. He buttons his shirt as he walks over to his makeup vanity. He puts on his makeup and changes into his clothes. He looks at you. He takes out a piece of paper, writes something on it, and leaves it on the vanity. He looks at you before leaving the tent. Joker walks a few tents over to the first tier's tent. He walks in. Beast, Dagger, Jumbo, Wendy, and Doll are waiting for him. They stare at him with scowls.  
"Good morning, everyone…", says Joker with a smile. Dagger takes a few steps towards Joker.  
"And why are ya' late?", says Dagger with a frown. Joker puts his hand behind his head and smiles, closing his eyes.  
"Well… I guess I slept in today!", he says with a laugh. Dagger laughs with him, not knowing why it is funny. Beast frowns.  
"That wasn't a good idea, Joker…"  
"Oh? Why not?", says Joker, opening his eyes and looking at her. Beast takes a few steps towards him.  
"Didn't Father tell you? Today's an early leave…"  
"Father expects us to perform twice while in London… last night's performance was canceled because of the rain, wasn't it?"  
"Yes, but…"  
"Then… we still have tonight!", said Joker with a smile and closing his eyes again. Beast shook her head.  
"No… if things happened as planned, we would've performed again… but…"  
"But what?"  
"Doctor informed us that Scotland Yard found out about the kidnapping… if we leave now, chances are we'll make it to Dublin on time and before they suspect us…"

You slowly open your eyes. You expect to see Joker, but instead find him absent of the bed. You frown, getting up. You look around. He is not there. You get off the bed and put on your dress. You face the vanity. You see the note. You pick up the note and sit down next to the vanity as you start to read.  
__,  
I didn't want to wake you up, so I left in silence (hahaha). Please… I need to see you again… meet me by the entrance after this afternoon's performance.  
With Love and Laughter,  
Joker  
P.S. Let's discuss something important, ok? (and I don't mean last night… no complaints 3)_

You smile slightly, reading the letter over again. You fold the note and place it in your sash on your waist. You look at the tent's flap. You get up and walk out of the tent. You step in puddles of water and mud as you walk through that part of the circus. You stop… you… hear something that sounds like hissing… you turn around. A snake attacks you, just missing your face. You close your eyes and scream slightly. You open them to find a man covered in snakes and scales… he is not happy.  
"What are you doing here…"  
"I…"  
"This is the first tier's area… leave now… says Wilde…"  
You smile slightly. You nod and start to walk towards the circus's entrance. The man watches as you leave. He looks at one of his snakes. The snake leaps out at something on the ground. He looks at the ground. He walks over and picks up a piece of paper on the ground…

"But… we just can't leave!", exclaims Joker. Beast holds Joker's arm.  
"I know how you feel, but London isn't safe anymore if they find a connection between us and the kidnapping… and the murders…"  
"Ha! Don't look so glum, Boss! It's the rain… the rain's getting to 'im, Sis…", says Dagger with a laugh. Beast scowls at Dagger.  
"Don't make up excuses for him! You just wanted to perform again…", says Beast, looking up at Joker. He does not look at her. He is frowning. He looks down and closes his eyes.  
"Yeah… that's it…", says Joker quietly. Beast looks at him with concern.  
"WELL! Let's get packing!", says Dagger with a smile. Everyone starts to leave out the flap. Beast looks up at Joker with a frown.  
"Are you sure you're ok?"  
"Yeah… YES, I'VE GOT TO BE!", exclaims Joker, releasing her hands as he runs out the tent, before everyone else. Everyone looks at Joker, confused. Joker runs towards his tent. He opens the flap… he looks around… he does not see you. He frowns. He notices the note missing from his vanity. He closes the flap and heads for the entrance to the circus.

Everyone looks at each other, confused as to what Joker was up to. Snake enters the first tier's tent.  
"Snake!", exclaims Dagger with a laugh. Snake looks at them seriously.  
"What's wrong, Snake?", says Beast. Snake holds out a piece of paper to them.  
"I wasn't sure if my suspicions were true… this note confirms them… says Emily…".  
Beast took the note from Snake… Joker started his search for you… You headed for home with a smile… all unaware that life would change drastically soon…


	14. Chapter 14

You are walking down the street you live on. Clouds dark from last night's rain hang over your street. It is slightly cold. Your white dress blows in the wind, as does your hair. You walk steadily and hardily towards your house. You knock on the door, expecting someone to answer. After a few seconds, a man with a pipe answers the door. You look at him, confused.  
"What do you want, girl?"  
"I'm… looking for my Nanny…", you say, looking up at the man. He takes a puff of his pipe.  
"Nanny? What are you… some child?"  
"No, sir, let me please explain! I've been out all night and am returning to my household… this… is my household… sir…"  
"Oh… so you're the one who lost everything…", says the man with a smile. You frown.  
"Lost… everything?"  
"Ay! It must've happened so fast! Those big men came over yesterday afternoon… took everything you owned…"  
"What? Why on earth did that happen?"  
"Your nanny, Miss… I suppose when she found out you left, she called some sort of service… everything you owned was found to be inconsistent with your limits… in other words, she filed some suit against you that said you were too immature to handle the responsibility of a household…"  
"What…", you say, shocked. How… how could she do this? TO ME?  
"Now… on to the task I'm here to fulfill! Miss _, by the order of this British nation under the ruling of Queen Victoria, I, Rutherford Yates, deputy of Sir Arthur of the Scotland Yard, hereby present the right to put you in the care and custody of Middlecroft Working House, under the condition of incompetence, bipolarity, and homelessness, presented in the court of law as of yesteryear, so forth and such which…", says the man, holding out a slip of paper to you. You take the paper, read it, and frown, the paper shaking in your hands.  
"No… NONE OF IT'S TRUE! SHE'S DECEIVING YOU!", you exclaim, dropping the paper and starting to cry. The man touches your shoulder.  
"Don't worry, Miss… just follow me, and you'll be safe…", says the man, as though you need help. You brush his hand off of your shoulder.  
"I… I…", you say, crying. "I REFUSE TO GO!". You do not know why, but you start to run down the street. The man looks at his men.  
"Well? GET HER!", he exclaims. The men chase after you. You trip and fall on the ground, tears falling from your eyes. The two men grab your arms. The drag you to a carriage and throw you in the back. They close the door before you can escape. The carriage starts to move… it is very… dark inside of the carriage… a streak of light shines on your face… you curl up in the corner, your arms holding your legs on the ground… you look up… and all you feel are the tears on your face… the wet tears falling uncontrollably… unrelenting… because of your sadness…

Beast reads the note. Her eyes open wide. She frowns as though she is very upset. Dagger notices her.  
"What's the matter, Sis?", says Dagger, concerned. The note shakes in Beast's hands.  
"I… I…", she says shakily. Tears form in her eyes. She crumbles up the note and walks towards the flap. "Mustn't let… this happen…". She walks out of the flap.

Joker runs down your street towards your house. He reaches your house and knocks on the door. Yates answers the door, holding his pipe. He smiles.  
"What is it, lad?"  
"I'm… is… is _...", says Joker, tired from the running and at the same time hurriedly. Yates takes a puff from his pipe.  
"Sorry, lad… you just missed her…", says Yates expressionless. Joker frowns.  
"Do you happen to know where she might be?"  
"Hm, let's see… if anything, she's scavenging for food on the streets…", says Yates, expressionless again. Joker starts to get mad.  
"Don't be ridiculous… where is she… really…"  
"It really isn't any of your concern, lad… besides…", says Yates, looking at Joker's skeleton arm. "You'll probably be joining her in the next few weeks… ha, ha, ha…". Joker, with his left arm, grabs Yates's collar, thrusts him to the wall, and holds him there, his face in Yates. He scowls at Yates.  
"I'm only asking you ONE MORE TIME… where… the hell… IS SHE?!", exclaims Joker, his eyes mad with rage. Yates smiles at him.  
"Abusing a deputy of the Scotland Yard isn't smart… circus lad…". Joker's hand lightens the lift of Yates's collar.  
_Scotland… Yard?_  
Joker slowly puts Yates on the ground. He lets go of his collar. Yates brushes himself off and puts the pipe back in his mouth. He smiles.  
"Trust me, lad… you best stay off the path that girl has chosen for herself… maybe she knows too much, perhaps?". Joker frowns. He turns around and starts to walk away. His cloak blows in the wind. He closes his eyes. "Oh? So I'm right, eh?". Joker stops. He opens his eyes. He turns around and looks at Yates.  
"No… you're wrong… YOU'RE DEAD WRONG, YOU HEAR ME? I'm not afraid of your DAMN ORGANIZATION, your DAMN THREATS, or your DAMN WORDS! I'm not in the right mind to believe every Goddamn THING you say! If I stay off the path she chooses, I lower myself to the filthiest trash on the streets… and no… it's not her… it's not me… it's YOU FILTHY BASTARDS! And I swear…", says Joker, walking up to Yates. "If you EVER lay one BLOODY HAND on her… this…", says Joker, holding up his skeleton hand to Yates. "Will be the LAST thing you see before you meet your Maker!". Yates frowns. Joker smiles. He… laughs madly. Yates smiles.  
"Ah… so it's just a laugh?", says Yates with a smile and a laugh. Joker walks away with a smile on his face.  
"Who's joking?", says Joker, walking towards the circus.


	15. Chapter 15

_But the only song that he could play was  
"Over the Hills and Far Away"…_

Joker reaches the entrance to the circus just as a drop of rain falls from the sky. He leans against the entrance, looking towards the streets… for you… waiting… hoping… knowing…  
More drops fall from the sky… it is now a downpour. His cloak blows in the wind. He does not let the rain bother him… he is frowning.  
"BOSS! WE GOTTA GO!", shouts Dagger from inside the circus. Joker says nothing. Dagger walks up to him and grabs his shoulder from behind. "Boss… please…". Joker turns his head slightly to the side. His eyes close slightly. He looks towards the streets again. Dagger lets go of Joker's shoulder. He frowns. "Boss… something's bothering you, right?". Joker says nothing again. Dagger looks at him with concerned eyes. "You hated the rain… remember? And now you're standing in it like it's a shower! You've been acting strange ever since we came to… ever since we came back to, London…"  
"Nine years…"  
"What?"  
"Nine years since… we…". Joker pauses. He closes his eyes, tears about to fall.  
"Does it bring back memories?"  
"Lots…", says Joker, his words shaking. "Mostly… mostly bad memories… but I… but I… regret…"  
"Regret what?". Joker pauses. He opens his eyes. Tears fall from his eyes, onto his face. He frowns, looking towards the streets.  
"I… regret… letting the bad memories… impact my decisions… it hurts… it hurts because now I find it nearly impossible to turn back… and let the small amount of good memories… beautiful memories… shine…"  
Joker remembers the time he first met you… his life had been meaningless… he was useless… you gave him the hope of survival… and the hope of love… with you there was a purpose… and he could not understand why he abandoned it to follow only a more meaningless and useless life…  
"But… Boss… you've moved on since that time… if we hadn't been passing through London, you probably wouldn't have remembered any of that!". Joker bows his head, tears still falling from his eyes. He feels ashamed. If he had not been in London, he probably… no! He promised himself that he would never forget you! And he did not… everyday he felt sad or depressed, he would think about you… it gave him a purpose… a chance at life… he knew in his heart that hope was prevalent… you were a girl, rich at that, who saw a light in him no one of that position would even consider… and it was not because he was benefiting himself, but, rather, because he was benefiting someone else… you… that he knew for sure. The things he did now for pleasure involved hurting others as a means to benefit others who, perhaps, did not even need help… he was never sure. To him, certainty was key… he was aware of what he was doing and who it was for… no tricks, no side games. Every good deed that he did, every second he spent with you, was worth it… he was certain of the feeling he had… happiness… and love…  
He was not about to let his feelings slip way again… that is why he bears the rain, even though he hates it… that is why he ignores his Family when they plead with him to move on… that is why he spends every second with you… and all not because he feels sorry for you… but because… but because…

_"I love you… just the way you are…"_

Joker wipes the tears from his face. He looks towards the streets again. To find love in the streets, where you never had any to begin with… this was not a miracle… it was fate…  
"Boss, if we don't leave now, the… Yard…"  
"FATHER!", says Joker, not paying attention to Dagger. "I need… I need to talk to him…"  
Joker realizes that fate is an extreme… but compared to other extremes, one being his deal with Father, this… this is more important… he needs to talk to him… confront him… tell him that he wants change… he was not afraid this time…  
"Sis's already at Father's… she's gonna meet us on the road…"

"Father?", says Beast, entering the room of her Father. He looks at her from his bed. He smiles in the shadows.  
"What is it, child? Is something wrong?"  
"Yes, Father… something's very wrong…"  
"Oh? And who does it pertain to?"  
"Joker…"  
"Joker?", says Father questionably. Beast takes a few steps towards him. She takes out the note from her pocket.  
"You mustn't be alarmed… we had no idea that he was having any contact with people from the outside world… here… a note he left her…". Beast walks up to Father. She hands him the note. He reads it. He reads it again. He closes the note. He crumbles it up and throws it at her head, laughing madly. She frowns, waiting for his answer.  
"YOU THINK I CARE WHAT LITTLE GIRLFRIENDS HE HAS IN HIS TENT WHILE OTHERS AREN'T AROUND? I'M NOT A PEEPING TOM… I CAN CARE LESS!"  
"BUT, FATHER! THIS IS DIFFERENT! IF THIS GIRL TOLD THE SCOTLAND YARD ABOUT US…"  
"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK JOKER EVEN TOLD THIS GIRL IN THE FIRST PLACE?"  
"He…". Beast pauses. He would not tell her… but she could not… she would not… let him get away with something like this… and the girl herself to go unpunished…  
"I saw him…"  
"Hm?"  
"I… was there when he told her about us… he told her everything…", says Beast, a shadow around her face. Father says nothing.  
"Beast…"  
"Yes, Father?"  
"Get me my wheelchair…". Beast walks over to his wheelchair and puts him in it. He rolls himself over to the window. Beast looks at him, scared and with a frown. He waits a few seconds before answering.  
"I told you Children not to interfere in the lives of others… only grief results from doing so… such disobedience leads to punishment…"

"HE WILL NOT GO UNPUNISHED…"


	16. Chapter 16

You are in the carriage as it is raining. You see the rain drops fall through the window onto the floor. You move your hand towards the drops. You feel the rain on your hand…  
The carriage stops. You fall back slightly. The doors open quickly and the same two men grab your arms… they carry you outside, into the pouring rain. One closes the carriage doors. He grabs your arm again and you are dragged off, into the gates of the Workhouse. They drag you inside as you struggle to break free. People watch you as your pass them… they are frowning. You are brought into a room with a desk and a chair. They force you on the chair. The leave the room, locking you inside. You get up and start banging on the door.  
"OPEN UP! OPEN UP! THIS IS A MISTAKE, I TELL YOU! A MISTAKE!"  
"No need for that, woman…". You turn around… a man is sitting on the other side of the desk. He waves his hand for you to sit down again. You sit down, not complaining. He frowns, looking at a piece of paper. "Miss _?"  
"That is my name…"  
"We have a report on you… to be confined in this workhouse until proven sane…"  
"But I am… sane! Don't you see? That woman was lying to you!"  
"Lying? Why would a former servant to the Queen, lie?"  
"What do you mean… former servant?", you say, very unhappy. The man frowns.  
"Your nanny used to care for the Queen's children…"  
"What? She isn't that old!"  
"DO YOU DARE CRITICIZE THE QUEEN?", says the man, his hands on the desk. You stand up.  
"I DIDN'T CRITICIZE ANYONE! I'm telling you! She's a liar!"  
"THEN IF SHE'S A LIAR, WHAT WITNESSES DO YOU HAVE TO PROVE YOU'RE SANE?"  
"Witness… es?". You sit down. He smiles.  
"Without witnesses, your sanity is questioned inevitably… so, you mean to tell me there is no one who can testify on your behalf? And don't say your maids… they all told me the stories of your staying out late and deharmonizing the family… nanny included…". You frown. You bow your head. Tears and drops of rain fall on your face…  
"Why…"  
"Hm?"  
"Why should I be forced to live in this place… my money, my family… they were worth nothing… but by making me live here…"

"I LOSE EVERYTHING!"

Joker walks towards the stable. Dagger follows him.  
"Boss… it's pointless seeing Father… Sis…"  
"I have to discuss something different with him…"  
"Are you sure it is?"  
"Positive…". Joker walks in the stable. He grabs a horse and starts to take it outside. He gets on the horse. Dagger jumps in front of the horse, holding his arms out.  
"YOU CAN'T LEAVE!"  
"I MUST! Look… Beast and I will meet you guys on the road…". Dagger lets Joker pass… he watches him leave with a frown.

"Beast…"  
"Answer the door for me…". Beast walks over to the door and answers it… it is Joker. He is soaked in rain. Beast's eyes tear up. She gives him a hug.  
"Joker…", she says, closing her eyes. He says nothing. He brushes her off of him and walks inside… he is frowning. He walks inside Father's room…  
"Beast… leave us, please…"  
"Yes, Father…". Beast leaves Joker and Father in the room… alone… she closes the door. Joker looks at Father, who is in his wheelchair by the window, with a frown… water is dripping from his clothes… his makeup is smeared…  
"Father…"  
"Why have you come?"  
"I…"  
"You betrayed this Family…"  
"Betrayed? What are you…"  
"You lied to me… that day you told me you would do anything… to save those children… remember them, Joker? Don't you remember their faces?"  
"Father… I…"  
"And your Family! Don't they mean anything to you anymore?"  
"They…"  
"What kind of person are you to go about and tell someone that you've been KILLING PEOPLE… TO SUPPLEMENT… THE QUALITY… OF THOSE LIVING… ON THE STREETS?!"  
"I DIDN'T TELL HER ANYTHING!". The Baron looks at Joker. He comes over to him and… slaps his face… hard… there is a mark on Joker's cheek where the Baron slapped him now. Joker's eyes are opened wide. Father looks at him with a scowling face…  
"You lied to me… don't cover up what's already been done with more of your foolish lies…". Joker looks at him… how… did he…  
"What… who told you…", says Joker, bowing his head in shame. Father smiles slightly.  
"It doesn't matter… the point is…", says the old man, wheeling over to the window again. "I can no longer trust you…"  
"But… I didn't tell her… about…"  
"How do I know that? You're just a… foolish child… you were probably bragging about it…"  
"Why… ON EARTH… would I brag something like that to her?", mutters Joker. The old man smiles slightly.  
"Why else would a rich girl want to fool around with a dirty spot like you… huh? Do you think it's because you're handsome? Tsheesh… who finds circus men attractive? And you have no financial support whatsoever!"

_The truth is that in my eyes you appear to have… more than this rich girl could ever hope to acquire…_

"And you're always acting like a lunatic!"

_If you're deemed a fool, it's not because you hurt people… it's because of the laughter you bring them, every, single, day of your life!_

"Worst of all… your right arm is missing… and is replaced with a temporary… inefficient… skeleton!"

_All that matters is that you are alive…_

"Nothing of yours…"

_I know you have a heart…_

"Is worth anything…"

_You are so kind… considerate… loving…_

"TO THAT USELESS WHORE!"

_I… I find it difficult to live up to the kind of person you are… surely I'm not in any way like you…_

"Father…". Joker's hands shake. He looks down. He closes his eyes. His teeth clench. "What do you know about love?". The Baron frowns. He looks out the window again.  
"I know enough to say that it isn't worth the trouble…"  
"So… you never knew… what it feels like… to be loved?". The Baron says nothing. Joker smiles. "Then… don't you… say those things… you… have no right… to say those things… about me…", says Joker, looking up. "Or about her…". The Baron looks at Joker.  
"Do you dare question my authority?". Father comes towards Joker. "Did I not save you poor souls from hell? How would you like it if I left you on the streets to rot like a pile of fruit?"  
"It wouldn't have mattered…"  
"Huh?"  
"That place… the one you called your home… that was the workhouse, wasn't it?". The Baron says nothing. Joker smiles. "Inevitably, we were doomed for a life at the workhouse… when I realized that, I… started a circus, because I knew… because I knew we had an opportunity to do so… and that would have happened… with or without you… Father… and as for your authority… yes, you have authority over us… your Family… but not over her…". The Baron says nothing. He frowns. He comes up to Joker and slaps him, repeatedly. Joker takes the abuse, smiling. He stops. Joker looks down at him with a smile. "It doesn't hurt anymore…". The Baron frowns. He turns around, not looking at Joker.  
"I wouldn't be so sure about that…"  
"Really? Slap me again!", says Joker with a laugh. The Baron scowls.  
"No… I do have authority over her… he, he… I suppose you are the only one in this fleet of fools that doesn't know about the fate of your poor lover…"  
Fate?  
"What?", says Joker, his eyes opened wide. The Baron smiles… he laughs madly.  
"YOU FOOL! YOU FOOLISH CHILD! HA, HA! HA, HA, HA!". Joker does not understand… why is… why is he laughing. Father turns around. He looks at him and smiles. "I've got her in the palm of my hand…". Baron Kelvin holds out his hand… the bandages on his face are revealed, and his evil… evil eye…


	17. Chapter 17

"What… what do you mean?", says Joker, very scared. The Baron grabs Joker's arm, pulling it towards him. He smiles.  
"I'm not telling you anything… my authority… CONDEMNS IT!", says Baron Kelvin, laughing madly. Joker grabs Baron Kelvin's left arm. Baron Kelvin pulls Joker's skeletal arm and pushes him, hard. Joker falls on the ground. His arm… is now in Baron Kelvin's hand. He holds his sleeve with his left hand, looking at it with a frown. Baron Kelvin laughs madly. "He, he, he… you are so weak…". Joker looks up at him from the floor. His eyes are filled with rage.  
"Where is… WHERE IS SHE?!", exclaims Joker in pain. Baron Kelvin smiles. He pats the arm in his hand, glaring down at Joker.  
"I'm not telling you…"  
"If you don't, I'll… I'll…"  
"Don't be stupid! If you even try killing me, you'll lose all the information essential in finding Miss _..."  
"How do you… how do you know her name?", exclaims Joker, holding his sleeve in pain. Baron Kelvin smiles.  
"Tsk, tsk… looks like I've said more than I wanted to… oh, well, oh well…", says Baron Kelvin, moving towards the window again. Joker, struggling greatly, tries to get up from the floor.  
"Tell me… please… Father…", says Joker, struggling with every word. Baron Kelvin smiles.  
"To do that would mean a great sacrifice on your part…"  
"I'll… do… whatever it is… you ask of me…"  
"Oh? Anything?", says Baron Kelvin with a smile, patting the arm on his hand again. "You can start… by apologizing…"  
"Apolo…"  
"For everything you said to me…"  
"I… I…"  
"Hm?"  
"I… refuse!"  
"What?", says Baron Kelvin, turning around to look at him. Joker is standing slightly up… his hand his holding his sleeve, and he is breathing in and out deeply. Joker looks at him, anger in his eyes. The Baron smiles.  
"Refusal leaves you with no answers… that isn't what you want now… is it?"  
"The only thing I want to know… is… where you heard… that name… where she… is… and… and… and how I can… get to her…". The Baron smiles.  
"That's three things… you fool… try a forth and I'll give you your arm back!"  
"Keep the… damn arm! If it… gets me… to where she's at… I want… I want… ANSWERS!", exclaims Joker, standing up completely and looking down. Baron Kelvin holds the arm out to Joker.  
"Three favors… that is what it takes… agreed?". Joker looks up. He looks at the arm. He looks at Baron Kelvin. He takes the arm with his hand.

"Agreed… Father…"

"Who is your witness?"  
"My witness is… he's…", you find yourself saying, looking down. You do not think you should mention his name… it could only cause more problems…  
"Speak up, Miss!"  
"He's… his name is…"  
"Yes?"  
"Go to the circus… you'll know him when you see him…"  
"It's too late for that, Missy! The circus left for Dublin this afternoon!"  
"What?". You open your eyes wide. You are holding you arm. He would… not… leave you… he… would never… abandon… you…  
"I… don't believe you!"

"I don't believe you!", exclaims Joker, his eyes opened wide. Baron Kelvin smiles.  
"The Scotland Yard is on your trail this very instant!"  
"YOU'RE LYING! SHE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT US!"  
"GO BACK TO THE CIRCUS AND SEE FOR YOURSELF!"

"Why don't we send you with some of the Yard back to the circus… it sounds strange, but if there's a chance of a witness… we'll take it…"

Joker races on the horse back to the circus. It is still raining. You are in back of the carriage, going the same direction as he…

The Yard lets you out of the carriage… Joker sees the carriage… he stops the horse. He gets off the horse by the entrance to the circus. You run out of the carriage… you see Joker… you run to him… he is frowning… you hug him tightly. He looks up at the carriage… he sees the Scotland Yard coming out of the carriage, looking at him.  
"What's going on?"  
"The Yard…"  
"What… about them?". You look up at Joker. He is looking at you. You start to cry.  
"Joker… Joker… they… they…". You are at a loss of words. He covers your mouth with his left hand.  
"I'm going to tell you something that you mustn't tell anyone… I don't know why… I didn't tell you before…". You look at Joker. He smiles, squinting his eyes slightly.  
"HURRY UP WITH HIM ALREADY! WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!". Joker hugs you back. Your head is on his right shoulder.  
"Why… why have you been doing this?", you say in tears. He frowns.  
"I'm stupid if I say it's for my Family… and you wouldn't believe me if I say I had no choice… I suppose it's because I never think when I act, and am a fool for life… right?". He smiles.  
"You know the answer to that as well as I… but… I… wish… you could have told me this sooner…"  
"So you could report me to the Yard?"  
"What?", you say, shocked. You look up at him. "Is that what you think this is about?". Joker looks down. He frowns.  
"Isn't it?"  
"No!"  
"I would have told you eventually… but… I thought… if I told you now… I wouldn't live with that on my shoulders…". You smile. You touch his cheek gently.  
"Ever since we met, I've known you, inside and out… what happens in the shadows does not define us… it does not define you… understand me when I say that… believe me when I tell you the reason I came back… and hope that one day we'll both live in the light chosen for us… for now it might be at a distance…"  
"HURRY UP, ALREADY!". You look into Joker's eyes. He looks at you.  
"Why are they here?"  
"My family, my home… everything was taken away from me… now I must go…"  
"Wait!", says Joker, grabbing your arm as you are leaving. You look at him. He looks at you… tears are in his eyes. "Leave with me… we'll run away from it all! Away from the shadows… AWAY FROM EVERYTHING!". You smile. You hold his arm in your hand.  
"Haven't we been doing that all our lives? Abandoning those we love… we did that before… to each other… surely we are stronger now than we were back then… besides…", you say, holding his neck with your hand and looking at him. "Shadows always follow the light… if we run now, they're gonna get us, and the chance of us seeing each other again would be slim… trust me…", you say, feeling his cheek. "I love you… too much… to let them hurt this!". You cry in your words. He puts his hand behind your head. He moves your head against his so your cheeks touch. He feels the tears running down your face… you feel his… both of your eyes are closed. He holds you close… you feel the warmth of his body next to yours… you are saddened… he is, too… but something about this sadness… is forlorn… you… do not wish to think of it as a good bye… you want this feeling forever… forever… forever…  
He kisses your forehead… he kisses the tip of your nose… he waits a few seconds before kissing your lips… you embrace each other… happily… in true love…  
"Don't worry… I won't let you fall…"

You kiss each other again. You look at him, frowning, and trying not to cry. He does the same.  
"I love you…"  
"I…". You pause. "I love you…", you whisper. You touch his cheek… and after a minute, you turn around, and walk back to the carriage… Joker watches you… the two men look at you…  
"He's not here…"  
"Then who is that guy?"  
"He's…". You start to turn your head… but do not. "Waiting for someone he loves dearly to return…"


	18. Chapter 18

_But the only song that he could play  
Was 'Over the Hills and Far Away'..._

It is late afternoon. Grey clouds hang over the sky of a small village far east of London. The wind blows softly on a group of circus tents. Beast, wearing a light jacket, walks past Doll and a crowd of children. She stops and looks at her Sister.  
"Doll?", says Beast worriedly. Doll glances at Beast. The children walk away and the two meet.  
"Yeah?", says Doll questionably. Beast frowns.  
"How is... he doing today?". Doll now frowns. She looks down and closes her eye.  
"Doc's gonna look at 'im tonight, maybe... again..." Beast looks down and closes her eyes. She holds on to her jacket tightly. She grinds her teeth.  
"Honestly! Doesn't he know how to cure a sick man, or is he just pulling our leg?!".  
"Beast!". Beast looks up at Doll. She sighs. Doll smiles. She walks up to her and pats her shoulder gently. "Don't worry... Father says 'e is one in a million, that Doc, so 'e's probably doing the best 'e can for Brother..."  
"Please... don't say his name..." Beast turns around and looks down, closing her eyes. "He's been neglecting me for so long, I just want to forget him now...", says Beast quietly to herself. She walks away. Doll looks up at her, confused. She shakes her head and tends to more children...

Doctor walks out of Joker's tent, carrying his medical bag. Dagger is standing by the tent, frowning. He walks up to Doctor, who is cleaning his glasses.  
"Say, Doc... did you find a cure for 'im yet?" Doctor looks up at Dagger with a serious look on his face.  
"There is no cure for depression, Dagger... neither I, nor anyone in the medical field, can give him anything to end his continuous ramparts of coiled anxiety, that is, unless I feed him twenty more pills and a few more alcoholic drinks... but what good will that do? He's only human... things like this are obviously out of hand at this point...". Dagger looks at Doctor, very concerned.  
"Do you know how it 'appened?". Doctor looks at him. He puts his glasses on his nose.  
"You know, he hasn't been too clear as to what happened exactly, but from putting the pieces together, I think this may have started when you left London..."  
"Oh? But that was near a month ago! He was 'appy and jolly earlier this week..."  
"Was he? Was he really, Dagger?", says Doctor questionably. Dagger looks down. Doctor walks forward a bit. He checks his watch for the time. "Brother Joker never really seemed to show his true feelings out in the open... he's probably been concealing it behind smiles and bursts of laughter all the while since you left London...". Doctor sighs. "Oh, well...". Doctor looks forward. He starts to leave. Dagger looks up and takes a step towards him.  
"Wait, Doc! Is there anything I could do to help 'im?". Doctor stops. He looks at Dagger with a frown.  
"Right now, the best thing you could do for him is let him rest and tend to his needs... other than that, he should be up and about in no time...". Doctor smiles. Dagger smiles, too. They wave at each other and Doctor leaves. Dagger frowns again. He looks at the tent. He reaches his hand to the flap unwillingly. He opens it slightly...

"This world... everyone... because of them, I cannot live... take this knife, throw it into my chest, and END this life I should never have had in the FIRST PLACE!". Dagger opens the flap quickly and runs to Joker. He struggles with the knife in his hand, but it takes it from him. Dagger throws the kinfe on the ground and looks at Joker, one leg still on his bed. Both breathe quickly. Dagger looks very upset. Joker looks angry. He crosses his arms and leans back, head on his pillow. He does not look at Dagger. "Seconds away... just SECONDS... then you showed up...".  
"Thank God...", says Dagger, still breathing heavily. He takes his leg off the bed and looks at Joker. He sighs. "What were you thinking, Boss?"  
"Nothing..."  
"Huh?". Joker looks at Dagger. He frowns.  
"Don't you see what I've become? I'm NOTHING... nothing anymore... nothing... nothing...". Joker turns to his side, like he is going to cry and is ashamed of it. Dagger frowns. "My life... is without MEANING... I'm suffering... SUFFERING!".  
"Now, now, Boss... don't say that!".  
"Then what am I supposed to say?! My life is a living hell? I deserve to die? However you say it, it still means the same... why live with just two lungs and a... broken heart?". He says the last part quietly... clenching his pillow...  
Dagger's expression changes from sad and concerned to smiling slyly.  
"Tch... I should 'ave seen it from the start... Boss...". Dagger walks up to Joker. "Maybe we wouldn't 'ave been so quick to leave if you had told us you met a girl in London...". Joker's eyes open wide. He grinds his teeth. He throws the pillow at Dagger forcefully.  
"WHY WOULD I TELL YOU?! YOU'D NEVER UNDERSTAND!"  
"Understand? Boss... of course, I'd understand... I'm your Brother, after all...". Joker looks at Dagger for a second. He turns to his side again. He grinds his teeth nervously. He looks very worried. Dagger smiles and closes his eyes. "Don't worry... I'll tend ya 'til you're recovered... 'til then, no more knifes in the room, got it?". Joker does not answer. Dagger opens his eyes and grabs the knife from the floor. He starts to walk out the tent. He looks at Joker, concerned. "You're not gonna leave your Family over some girl, are ya?". Again, Joker doesn't respond. Dagger sighs and leaves the tent. After Dagger leaves, Joker closes his eyes tightly. He faces forward on the bed and covers his eye with one hand, crying.  
The only love of his life was somewhere far away. She was on dangerous conditions, and he was not by her side. He had cared too much for his Family to even be totally concerned about her. That bastard of a man threatened him... he used him... he sided with him, only because he was afraid for her. Now, it did not matter. She was in a worst state, anyway... so was he... he was suicidal and afraid... again... he desperately wanted to kill himself and spare himself the shame of the man he thought he was...  
His Family did not care. His Father did not care. Only he cared. Perhaps she cared, too. What... made him think these thoughts? What made him shut himself from the outside world completely?

"I love you..."

"I... I love you..."

He admitted it so freely because he knew it in his heart for a long time. You, however, probably made a decision that took you a while to find it for yourself to say those words. His was openly present... yours was deep down inside... gentle... and true...  
Perhaps your words changed his view on the relationship. At first, he did everything for you, and only you. Now... just by your words... you seemed to be pleading for him to be by your side... always... and that it was no longer just you... but us...

Joker also knew, deep down inside his own heart, that although Dagger meant well... he would never understand this...  
He had told you what he thought about himself... you understood. He had admitted his love to you from the start... you understood. He told you about the killings... and you understood. His Family would never be as willing as you were those times, to understand the severity of what he had confined to you. For these reasons, you, above all, meant the world to him... and now you were gone...  
"Bloody hell... bloody hell... bloody hell... BLOODY HELL...", he finds himself saying in the cold and dark afternoon air...

It is evening. Doctor knocks on Baron Kelvin's door.  
"Come in, Doctor...". Doctor opens the door and walks in, carrying his medical bag. He stands in the doorway, looking at the Baron. The Baron looks at him and smiles. "Doctor... Doctor! Come in quickly...". Doctor smiles. He walks in and closes the door behind him. The Baron folds his hands and smiles. "So... how are the little brats these days... feeling well, I assume?". Doctor frowns. He reaches into his bag and pulls out a medical report for Joker. He hands it to the Baron.  
"Everyone is healthy, except for...".  
"Joker?!", says the Baron, reading the report. He frowns. "Depression... anxiety?!".  
"It's a common ailment... actually, I'm very surprised he didn't get it sooner, considering what he's been through all these years.".  
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!". Doctor jumps back. Baron Kelvin looks up at him angrily. "I can't have one of my Children turn sick on me just when I was THIS close to meeting 'him' again... do you know how EXHAUSTING it is for me, to render everyday supporting the livelihood of these Children and their circus?!"  
"It hasn't been easy for me, either, Baron Kelvin... I've been running low on the parts necessary for artificial limbs..."  
"Tch... well, we can't have that...", says Baron Kelvin, leaning back in his chair. Doctor smiles.  
"Maybe if we send the circus back to London for a few days, we both can meet our needs quickly, and efficently...".  
"How so?".  
"Well... you said your were THIS close to finding Ciel Phantomhive, whereas I need more parts... the children of London are plentiful enough to sustain my needs, and yours resides there... so? What do you say?". The Baron leans farther back in his chair. He ignores the question completely.  
"Why is Joker depressed? Hm? Did he learn how to juggle correctly?".  
"No... Baron... he just seems a bit down lately...".  
"Why?".  
"Hm?".  
"Why is the fool down?". Doctor puts his medical bag on the floor.  
"I'm not quite sure, but I think it started after the circus left London a month ago...".  
"London? A month ago?".  
"Yes...". Baron Kelvin starts to smile. He leans forward again.  
"HA, HA, HA! That boy really IS infatuated!".  
"In... fatuated... Sir?".  
"Yes, yes, yes... it's quite obvious, isn't it? Lord knows, I've been keeping him away from his lover for near a month, now! Hm... you don't suppose he's crying over her... do you?". Doctor walks towards Baron Kelvin.  
"I don't know! You never even TOLD me he had a girlfriend!".  
"Girlfriend? Tch, tch, tch... no... it's not like that, at all! Everything BUT, really... they've only slept together, is all!". Doctor opens his eyes wide.  
"W-What?". The Baron leans back in his chair again.  
"I pity you, Doc! Never had a girl, did you? Oh, fiddlesticks...", says Baron Kelvin, changing the subject. "Alas, maybe... yes... YES...".  
"What?!", exclaims Doctor. The Baron smiles sinisterly.  
"I've connected the pieces... Joker is depressed... and the whereabouts of the girl, to my recollection, is at a mental institution on the East side of London... hm...".  
"And your thoughts?", says Doctor inquiringly. The Baron smiles. He looks at Doctor.  
"I know JUST how to snap Joker out of it, and solve all our problems...".  
"Have him see her again?".  
"NO, NO, NO! If he saw her again, that would RUIN our plans of parts and Ciel Phantomhive! No... instead of that...". The Baron reveals his plan to Doctor. Doctor smiles.

A few days later, Joker knocks on the door of Baron Kelvin. He walks inside. He is groomed, but his eyes are still red. He walks into the Baron's room, frowning and sad...  
"Father?", he says quietly and crackled. He can hardly speak these days. He closes the door behind him. The Baron looks at Joker and smiles.  
"Good evening, Child... how are you?". Joker walks up to him, eyes closed and frowning. He hands him a note.  
"I received your message... earlier this week...", he says, ignoring the question and sniffling. The Baron takes the note, still looking at him with a smile.  
"I'm glad you could make it... Joker... I know it must have been a very difficult journey for you...".  
"Y-Yes... not really...", says Joker, wiping his nose with his skeletal finger and looking down. The baron smiles.  
"I'm sure you're simply DYING to know why I asked you here today... hm?", says the Baron inquiringly. Joker looks up with a frown. He does not say anything. The Baron grins even more. "Cut the bloody nonsense, you fool! I know why you're depressed! Isn't it having to do with that girl from London?". Joker looks up.  
"None of your bloody business...".  
"AH! So it IS having to do with her! HA, HA, HA!".  
"Stop laughing.".  
"OH? Why should I?".  
"BECAUSE YOUR BLOODY INTERFERENCE KILLED EVERYTHING!", Joker clenches his fists and teeth. He breathes heavily. The Baron leans back, folds his hands, and smiles.  
"Joker, Joker, Joker... I'm not a mind reader, I can't tell whose to blame! Maybe it is me...". He wheels himself over to the window. "It's not like I wanted this to happen... that poor girl... the asylum better be treating her well...". Joker's eyes open wide... so does his mouth.  
"What?". The Baron smiles slyly.  
"Oh? You didn't hear? Miss _ was shipped off to... em...". The Baron refuses to unveil where you are kept. Joker runs up to him.  
"WHAT?! WHY?", he pleads.  
"Back off, Child, give me space!". Joker tries to relax. The Baron turns around and looks at him with a smile. "Listen closely, Child... only I know the true whereabouts of her... everyone else you speak to will tell you lies, except for, of course, that she is in an asylum... now... it all depends on what you are willing to do for me in the meantime...". Joker grinds his teeth. He turns around and closes his eyes.  
"I refuse to take part in any more of your bloody bribery...".  
"That may be the case, but it is a stupid plan on your part... don't you think?". Joker opens his eyes. He crosses his arms. The Baron wheels towards him. "All you want right now is to see Miss _ one last time, or forever... now, I do not understand women as I should, but what I did realize when I was... married... is that if you love someone very dearly, and the love, in turn, is exchanged, then... isn't it worth it to go the extra mile if the person you love, who was there for you when you needed it the most, is in grave danger and needs an exchange of love once more in their dire need? Please tell me it is...". Joker does not answer. The Baron gets angry. "PLEASE TELL ME IT IS!".  
"ALRIGHT, IT IS!". Joker turns around and looks at the Baron angrily. The Baron smiles.  
"So? Are you willing to do what I ask of you from now on? What you get from me will be rewarding...".  
"On one condition...".  
"Oh! ANYTHING, Child!". Joker walks up to him, frowning.  
"Promise me she will be safe... and the children of the East End will be safe...".  
"Oh, I guarantee it, Child!". Joker turns around and starts to leave. He opens the door and looks back at the Baron.  
"I am willing to kidnap every last child in Britain, kill every innocent witness for you... but if, in the end, I find her stained in blood, I will blame these hands for her death and end the life of myself, and surely... of yours, too...". The Baron smiles.  
"'Over the hills and far away'... Joker...". Joker looks down. He frowns.  
"Yes... someday...". He shuts the door.

"Someday...".


	19. Chapter 19

It is midnight... the wind blows softly in the trees... Wendy, Peter, Dagger, Jumbo, and Beast are running through a forest... Beast looks over her shoulder as she is running...  
"Is Joker alright?", she says worriedly. Dagger looks at her and smiles.  
"Of course he is, Big Sis! Ya know Boss well 'nough to know he makes it around!" Beast slowly looks forward and frowns.  
"I wish I could understand his reasoning... he never tells me anything! Maybe he's still mad about..."  
"What?", asks Dagger. Beast sighs. She looks at Dagger and smiles.  
"Never mind... anyway, if he continues to take his leisurely time on this, we're going to get caught!"  
"Oh, leave him be... all he wants is to please the children..."  
"By kidnapping them? Please..."  
"I suppose he wants to make light of the situation...", says Dagger, shrugging his shoulders. Beast looks forward, frowning again.  
"I hope that's all it is...", she says, quietly to herself...

"Now, you never told me you name...".  
"Samantha!".  
"Oh, that's a pretty name... do you like it?".  
"No...".  
"No? Why not?".  
"Well, it was my grandmother's name... and... um...".  
"Go on... you can tell me...".  
"Well... um...".  
"How about we sit on the ground for a few minutes and talk about it...".  
"Ok!". Joker, carrying a little girl piggyback, stops, and gently places her on the ground. He sits across from her, smiling.  
"Now... what's this about not liking your grandmother's name... hm?". The little girl looks down, frowning.  
"Well, my grandmother was... mad...".  
"Mad?". The girl nods her head.  
"Mama says she kept trying to kill herself!".  
"I... suppose that is why you think she was mad...", says Joker with a laugh. The little girl closes her eyes and starts to cry.  
"But she was! She tried ending her life because my grandfather was away from her!".  
"Oh... my... don't blame her, then...". The little girl looks up. Joker looks down, frowning. "Samantha, let me tell you a story... there was once a very poor boy living on the streets of London... he had no purpose, no reason to live... until that day...". Joker recalls your face. "The day he met the person who was to matter the most to him... suddenly, he had a purpose, a reason for living... he promised himself that, no matter what, he would continue his life if it meant seeing her again...".  
"Did he?". Joker looks up, and down again, smiling.  
"Yes, he did, and he loved it... having her there... always... it seemed as though such happiness would last forever... but... it didn't...".  
"It didn't?".  
"No... just when he thought he had her in his grasp... she... slipped away... and the sad part is, he began to blame himself for it... he became depressed, desperately wanting to end his life... for, you see, he had lost his purpose once more... and... then... an evil man, who the boy had trusted for years, decided to take advantage of his love... he told the boy that he himself knew where to find the girl he had so greatly wanted to have and to hold... forever... but that it would involve countless tasks before such information could be exposed... the boy knew going through with his blackmail would lead to great misery for others, but it was the anticipation of seeing his love again truly worthwhile...".  
"Where... is the boy now, Mr. Clown?". Joker glances at the girl.  
"He is still trying his best to acquire as much information as possible... whatever is necessary... to see his true love again...".  
"Oh... so you think that's what grandfather's been doing?".  
"Huh?". The little girl smiles.  
"Mama told me that grandfather left grandmother because he wanted to kill people... see, he was secretly a hit man before he met grandmother... when they were married, grandmother found out about his job, and gave him the choice of either living with her and their children in peace, or to continue killing people for money... he decided to leave his family...". Joker looks down.  
"So, your grandmother was upset he abandoned his family...".  
"No...". Joker looks up, startled. The little girl laughs.  
"She was upset because he decided to kill people! You see, grandfather wanted to remain a hit man because he knew of no other way to provide for his family! Mama remembers him sending grandmother letters containing great amounts of money, but each time she received them... grandmother would throw them into the fire, and cry her eyes out... she would say things like, 'Why is he doing this? Doesn't he understand I love him unconditionally? I want us to be together, but if it is at the cost of another life... I rather be dead! It aches inside knowing he is doing these things... the pain is unbearable... perhaps he stopped doing this... maybe this is honest money... but how can I know if I never see him? There is but one way...'".  
"Hm?". Joker glances up at her.  
"'If he returns to me unscathed, I will know he was dishonest... but, if he returns beaten and bruised, I will know he fought his way to me earnestly...'". Joker closes his eyes, realizing the similarity between her grandfather and he. He begins to clench is teeth.  
"Maybe... maybe he had no other choice... maybe... maybe he knew of no other way to help his family... and wife...".  
"But then he's a fool, right?".

_I'm always acting like a ridiculous fool!_

"What... makes you think he's foolish?".  
"Isn't it obvious?". The little girl closes her eyes and laughs. "If he really loved her, he would have found a job that suited his family's needs because he knew it gave grandmother happiness, or, perhaps...".  
"Perhaps?". The little girl looks at Joker.  
"Perhaps he would have found another way, guided only by love... hm... anyway... grandmother eventually killed herself because he was taking too long, and she was worried... Mama told me grandmother admired grandfather's character, and that he really did love her... but... she could never tell what he loved more... being a hit man...".

_Your Family... they love you because of those things, because of who you are..._

"Or his wife..."

_You are unforgettable..._

Unforgettable...

UNFORGETTABLE...

Joker slams the door to Baron Kelvin's room behind him. Doctor is sitting next to the Baron, tending to his bandages. Both the Baron and Doctor look up at Joker.  
"Now Joker, whatever is the meaning of this?", says the Baron questionably.  
"Fifty..."  
"What?" Joker walks up the Baron and Doctor.  
"I've killed and kidnapped a total of fifty children and witnesses... pleased?"  
"Why, of course, I'm pleased! I can just see the Earl now..."  
"Good."  
"What?" Joker sighs.  
"You said fifty lives would be enough for a clue..."  
"Oh, yes... a clue..." The Baron wheels over to the window, clasping his hands together on his lap. "Facility..."  
"What?" The Baron glances at Joker.  
"Well, you wanted a clue, so I gave it... facility... that is all." Joker flushes red, and prepares to punch the Baron. Doctor stops him.  
"No, Joker... that won't due..."  
"You're bloody right, it won't due! What kind of a moron do you take me for?! Huh? You stupid old man!"  
"Joker..." There is a pause. The Baron turns around and looks at him with anger in his eyes.  
"Don't you dare yell at me..." Joker starts to laugh madly.  
"Ha, ha, ha! You must think I'm the most foolish person in England!"  
"Aren't you?" Joker stops laughing, looking at the Baron. The Baron smiles.  
"What man other than YOU would be willing to murder innocent lives as the price for acquiring a woman? Hmph... only you would be willing to do something like that... why do I even consider calling you a man? You're more like a wimp!" Joker goes at him again, but Doctor holds him back.  
"Joker!"  
"You feed upon the lives of children and adults without even the slightest thought that I might be giving you little information... or perhaps telling you lies... hmph... you're better off leaving the circus, traveling all over Great Britain, and searching for the asylum that holds your captivating princess! He, he, he... but you wouldn't do something like that... why? Because you're Family matters more to you than HER!" Doctor holds on tightly to Joker's wrist from behind him.  
"NO! NO!"  
"Quit your babbling, Joker... of course they matter more! You wouldn't dare abandoning them over some useless, crazy prostitute!" Joker releases himself from Doctor's grasp, and punches Baron Kelvin, hard, leaving a small stain of blood on his bandages. The Baron rubs his cheek, and looks up and Joker angrily. "You... you... BRAT! Doctor!"  
"Yes, Baron Kelvin?" The Baron looks out the window again, frowning.  
"Take him to the exterminating room... perhaps he will learn not to disobey me again!" Doctor takes Joker out of the room. Joker glances back at Baron Kelvin before exiting the room.  
"You'll regret calling her that!" The Baron smiles.  
"Yes, of course... but not before you suffer... regret..."

It is nighttime... you look up at the sky from your room window... for days, you have been sitting on the ground, refusing to eat, and clothed in your hospital gown... you begin to count the stars...

One... two... three...

Tears fall from your eyes... you hold your knees in your hands, and look down.

I... feel like I'm dying... without him... without him... I am nothing... the first chance I get... I'm going to end my life...

"Ok, little girl... now, you try throwing daggers... don't forget to hit the target!" A girl throws several daggers at another girl, hitting her in the chest, killing her on contact. Joker, tied to a chair, watches forcefully in horror. Baron Kelvin watches, too, smiling and laughing sadistically. "Ha, ha, ha! Are you enjoying yourself, Joker? Ha, ha, ha!" Joker looks down, clenching his teeth tightly, and sweating heavily. The Baron takes a sip from his glass. "How would you like to see another one, boy?"  
"I... rather... not..."  
"Oh, come on, boy! Don't you want to see me kill more girls? The more I kill, the more you must get for me, if you expect to attain more clues!"  
"I... don't... want..."  
"Oh? You've given up on your two pence, one night stand, hm?"  
"F-Father..."  
"Look, I've already killed twenty for you... is that enough to satisfy your needs... to compensate for the lack of instruction on my part? Or would you rather I kill twenty more?"  
"S-Stop..."  
"Ok... OK! But only if you ask nicely..."  
"P-Please... P-Please S-Stop... F-Father..."  
"Hmph... not a chance..." The Baron goes over to Joker and pulls on his hair, forcing him to look up at him. "That was not a nice way to ask... you didn't even smile!" Joker breathes heavily. Baron Kelvin smiles, and tightly pulls Joker's hair back. "You smile for all the little children... but not I? The man who took you off the street? You unappreciative little bastard!" The Baron puts his other hand around Joker's neck, and squeezes it tightly. "And you have the nerve to call me your Father... after all I've done for you and your damn Family... AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET?!" Joker closes his eyes, feeling the constriction around his neck unbearable. He ceases breathing for a few seconds before Baron Kelvin finally lets go of his neck. "Hmph... tell you what... I think I will stop, but not because I feel sorry for you... no... no, I have something better planned for your demise, starting with... this... Doctor, untie him..." Doctor, standing by the door, walks over to Joker and unties him. Baron Kelvin, smiling, hands Joker a dagger. Joker looks at it, still out of breath. The Baron points at a target. "Now then... Joker... you may be released from this room if you manage to complete a single task..." A little girl walks in front of the target. "Throw this dagger, directly into the heart of this girl..." Joker looks up at the girl. It is...  
"S-Samantha!"  
"Oh, whatever her name is, just throw it!" Joker shakes his head, looking at the Baron and frowning.  
"No... NO! I REFUSE!"  
"Then I refuse to let you go! Would you rather one life be lost, or, because of your judgment, several at a time? You seem to be forgetting their lives depend on it!" Joker looks down at the dagger. Baron Kelvin moves out of the way of the target. Joker looks up at Samantha, aims the dagger, and...

A door is slammed. Footsteps are heard going up the stairs. Dagger looks down at them from the top of the stairs.  
"Boss?" Joker, looking down, has a shadow surrounding his body. He stops.  
"I've never killed a singular child in my life... and now... I..." Joker collapses. Dagger catches him before he falls.  
"BOSS!" Dagger glances at Joker's face. He begins to feel very worried and concerned. He sighs, looking down. "You love her, but I never knew it was this much! Oh...", he says, tearing up. "What can I do to help you, Boss?"

An hour later, Dagger, carrying Joker around his shoulder, reaches the circus. He walks over to Joker's tent, walks inside, and places him on the bed.  
"The asylum..."  
"Huh?" Dagger turns around to see Snake in the doorway.  
"He wants to get her back, doesn't he?" Dagger nods, looking at Joker. "Write the girl a note, and I will deliver it to her... says Emily..." Dagger looks at Snake.  
"Wait... an asylum? He..." Dagger looks at Joker. "Do you mean... Boss... and that girl of his..." Dagger glances at Snake, frowning. "What about an asylum?"  
"I rather not say, but... all I know is that the girl is protected heavily... the only way to ensure her safe return is if we warn her in a letter... assure her she will be saved... I will give her the letter, if you write it... he is obviously too weak to compose one in time..." Dagger glances at Joker. He closes his eyes, and pats his hand gently.  
"Boss has done so much for me... he promised us we would be together, in peace, over the hills someday..." There is a pause... Dagger sighs. He opens his eyes and looks affirmatively at Snake. "Ok... I will compose a message on Boss's behalf... what should it say?"  
"Tell her..."

_Joker is well... he has not been himself lately, however, because of your absence... here is what I have told him..._

"She will meet you at the circus in a week... we will be in London, so it shouldn't be too hard to find... I don't know how she will manage to escape that place, but... you will finally be with her...", says Dagger to Joker, a few hours later. Joker frowns. He closes his eyes, and holds his hand over his face.  
"God... how many will there be before then?"  
"Not... many... I haven't heard the details from Father yet..."  
"Oh, bloody hell! I can give two bloody pence what Father has to say!"  
"Listen to me, Boss! You have to remain obedient until she gets here, or else Father will..."  
"Yes, yes... I know already... what will happen if he, or our Family, finds out beforehand?"  
"The only people who know are Snake and I! Just... please... don't worry...", says Dagger with a smile. Joker looks at Dagger and smiles, too.  
"Dagger, this is quite a risk you are taking... I... don't... know how to repay you..."  
"Ha, ha!", says Dagger with a laugh. "You've repaid me tenfold, Boss, back there in the streets! I just want to see ya 'appy again!" Joker pats Dagger's head gently.  
"Brother Dagger... thank you..." Joker stops patting his head and looks up, frowning. "What do you think will happen to Noah's Arc Circus when I leave?" Dagger smiles, and closes his eyes.  
"Well, when we started this circus, we did it together... certainly, we will be bound together when it falls, and it will fall... if you're not around..." Joker smiles.  
"What started out as a refuge, became hell quickly... the flames we tried so desperately to avoid, caught up to us... hopefully, when this is all over... we will regain the love, and appreciation, conceived prior to us knowing this was just not meant to be..."  
"Correction... Boss..." Joker looks at Dagger. "We would never 'ave escaped if it weren't for Father... if it weren't for Father, we would never 'ave killed anyone... but also, if it weren't for Father, we would never 'ave been given the chance to leave... and you would never 'ave met that girl again..." Joker falls back in his pillow, frowning.  
"Funny how things work... isn't it..."  
"Yep... life certainly gives clowns a run for their money... ain't it, Boss?"  
"Yeah..." Joker turns to his side. "Life is just one big..."

"Tomfoolery..."

Paper drops from your room window. You look up to see a snake slither away. You crawl over to the piece of paper and unfold it, reading it's contents carefully. You begin to cry, feeling an unbearable sadness in your heart for having wanted to kill yourself.  
"J-J-Joker... I-I... p-promise..."  
"Hey! Time to open this cell! Cleaning time!" You crawl back into the corner and hold your legs in your arms. Two workers approach your room, carrying buckets of water and brushes. They open the door, and looks at you immediately.  
"Hey... don't you think we should put her in a straight jacket?"  
"Nah... I'm not afraid of her! She's been sittin' in the corner since she arrived!"  
"Ok... I trust you..." The two men start to scrub the floor with brushes and water. You look at them from in between your arms, and wait for the perfect timing... it comes... you stand up quickly, grab a bucket, and hit both men over the head with it. They pass out, and you are free to leave your room... you do...  
You make a few turns down the hallway, and begin to realize it is not safe... people are looking for you... you run to one of the doors, open it, and run out as quickly as you can...  
You begin to run through the streets of London, making sure you are not being chased... there is a bridge... you run over to the bridge, and walk under it, into a pipeline... you start to run down, inside the pipe, through a murky water... you stop for a second to catch your breath... you look behind, hearing voices chase after you down the pipeline... you run faster, and eventually gain enough speed for the to stop the chase... after an hour of running, you sit in the water to rest... you begin to feel tired and achy... your head becomes lighter as it falls into the massive puddle of sewage... resting... hoping... to be in freedom...  
Soon...


	20. Chapter 20

_Over the hills, a great way off…_

A door opens and closes…

_The wind shall blow my top-knot off…_

"Ah, Joker! Feeling better, I presume?" Joker looks down at the man who had caused him so much torment- his Father, Baron Kelvin. Joker smiles.  
"Hmph, yes! As a matter of fact, I feel wonderful, all thanks to you… Father…" Baron Kelvin grins.  
"So then, are you prepared for the final task?" Joker frowns slightly.  
"Final… task?" The Baron wheels over to Joker and hands him a picture. Joker looks at it.  
"Ciel…"

"Phantomhive?"

_"HUH!"_

You immediately wake up. You shield your eyes from the sun gleaming through the pipe. Horse carriages are heard above you. You sigh upon realizing it is morning.  
"Damn… I only have… one night to return to the circus… _CUGH_!" You close your eyes, feeling a bruise on your side from falling. You look down the sewage pipe. "I shouldn't leave until nighttime… I can get some rest that way… and Joker, God! I hope he can wait… for me..."

"This…"  
"Hm?"  
"This boy…" Joker looks up. "It's Smile, isn't it?!"  
"He, he… yes…" Joker looks down again, dropping the picture on the ground.  
"It… can't be…"  
"Now, now, Joker, you knew this would happen eventually…"  
"B-But… he…"  
"This precious little boy of mine was moving his grubby hands through your things… you came to inquire about it, gave me a description…"  
"So what! I didn't expect him to be… Ciel… Phantomhive…"  
"Ha, ha, ha! Well then, learn to except it! We have preparations to uphold!"  
"You mean…"  
"Yes… tell Doc to inform the others… that Ciel Phantomhive will be our guest tonight! Ha, ha! Oh… and have him tell them… they need to move stealthy if they want to make it to his manor in time!" Joker glances out the window, placing his arm over his chest.  
"Yes, Father…"

_"Please… be safe… make it… in time…"_

Joker clenches a pin in his hand, the very same pin he removed from your hair many days past. He bows.

"Understood…"

It is night. You slowly open your eyes. Drops of water are heard throughout the sewage pipe. You stand up, feeling very stiff in the cold. You cross your arms, and look down. Wind blows your gown to and fro very gently.  
"Joker… I have… t-to go… now…" You turn right, and walk down the sewage pipe. A few rats scurry about your feet. You look down at them for just a slight second, and continue on. You walk for about an hour, until you hear voices in the distance. You stop and look up.  
_"Voices?"_  
You follow the same path until you reach the end of the pipe. You take a step down, landing directly on top of a ventilator. You pry it open, and jump inside. You crawl in the small ventilator, following the much less faint voices from before.

"Baron Kelvin…"

"Sebastian…"

"Smile."

You freeze.

_"That voice!"_

You crawl closer to the end of the ventilator, when, suddenly…

_BANG!_

Your heart pounds quickly.

"Gun… shot?"

You reach the end of the ventilator and look down. You cannot exactly make out everything, except for just… one...

Person…

You feel like screaming, but you cannot. You feel like dying, but you cannot. Your hearts pounds, and pounds, and pounds. You collapse to the ground, trying hard not to faint. You want to keep yourself together… you have to. He lies on the floor, seemingly motionless, blood seeping from his left arms. And yet…

He smiles.

And he laughs.

Your eyes open wide. Some more voices are heard, but you cannot distinguish them. Until you see a fire rage and roar in the mist of this tragedy, do you fling open the ventilation cover, and immediately run to his side. There is no one else around, and the fire burns endlessly, endlessly… in your mist…

You kneel down next to him, and hold his head in your hands. He looks up at you and smiles. Tears roll from his eyes onto his cheeks, smearing his makeup. Several droplets fall on your arms. Some from your eyes fall on his head.

"Effortless… so… effortless…", he whispers, using every last bit of energy he has to speak. You lean your head closer to his, as his tone becomes softer and content. "I… did this all…"

You nod.

"Yes… for your Family…"

Joker shakes his head, smiling happily. You move your ear next to his mouth, certain to hear his response.

"For… you…"

Joker's head starts to fall. Memories, brought back in his mind, lead him unconscious.

"Tom, he was… a piper's son… he… learnt to play when he was young… but the only song that he could play… was…"

Joker slowly… softly… closes his eyes… smiling… ever more… happy... and content…

His head drops in your hands. You cry uncontrollably, holding his body tenderly in your arms…

Joker… the first and only person I ever… befriended… loved… and knew… we met as children… reunited ever more unchanged… and at last… again together... departed from this wretched world, assured our destination would be… "Over the Hills and Far Away"…

Amidst the violent flames… both you and he…

Turn to ash…


End file.
